Hello Windchaser. I don't normally follow the forums but a coworker within the industry spotted your questions and thought I might be able to help.
I am an employee at Roadmaster, Inc. and we make similar towing systems (including bars, cables, braking etc.) to Blue Ox. Following is a hyper link to our safety cable instructions. You will want to follow the instructions that come with your Blue Ox system, but the basics are the same. These instructions are detailed for each of our tow bars and are full of warnings as is required in todays litigious environment.
Safety Cable Instructions
Your cables on the car will connect to designated mounting points on your baseplate. Your baseplate instructions will show you where. On your motorhome you will connect the cables to the safety cable/chain ring which is welded to your receiver. Do NOT run the cables parallel. You want to criss cross the cables underneath the swivel joint of your tow bar. In the event that you forget to put your safety pin in, or should something occur to your tow bar that causes it to separate from the receiver hitch, the crossed cables will hopefully cradle the tow bar, possibly preventing the tow bar from catching on the road and pole vaulting the car.
You questioned how much play there should be in the safety cables. The answer is just enough so that in your sharpest turn the cable does not run out of play. But not so long that they drag going over dips and bumps. If you are uncertain, you can go to a large parking lot and without cables, but with the car connected make your sharpest turn. Now connect your cables so there is just a little slack. Remember that one side will be very short (compressed), while the other cable will be very long (extended). They will of course reverse rolls when you turn in the opposite direction. Your cables must be long enough to accommodate this sharpest turn without running out of play.
As for strength, you simply want cables that are rated in excess of the total weight of your towed car and all of it's belongings. Most cables are available in a 6k, 8k or 10k rating.
Regarding your braking system, we recommend that your breakaway cable is just longer than your safety cables. This requires proper placement of the breakaway switch so that you have enough slack to make sure the breakaway cable is long enough. We want the breakaway to activate the brakes should your car take a vacation from the motorhome at an inappropriate time. We don't want to emergency stop your vehicle unless it has actually broken ties with the motorhome.
I hope this information has been helpful.