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-Gramps-

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  1. -Gramps-

    "Cruising" Day Two

    By -Gramps-,

    A lot of things have changed in the last nine and a half years. A couple of divorces (that should explain the name changes in my story) kids have moved out, dogs have passed away. Diane and I are getting closer to our fortieth anniversary. If, on that occasion, we were to take another sea cruise, which is doubtful, because we prefer to land cruise, I would hope it would be as good as our last one.
    Voyager of the Seas 10-06-2002 to 10-13-2002
    Part II Saturday: South Beach, Swatches, Kids, Embarkation
    “The most beautiful stones have been tossed by the wind and washed by the waters and polished to brilliance by life’s strongest storms”
    The mattress was excellent. Diane’s backside and calf was a bit tight from the flight so I took an elbow to her rump and pressed hard, very hard until the nerve let go. Pressure to relieve pain. I also used my thumbs on her right calf until that knot loosened up. She informed me that it now felt better so we went down to the Seabreeze Café located past the pool on the ocean side of the hotel. The café is a cheerful place with a live steel drum player. He accompanied himself with synthesized music that sounded good. We seated ourselves, and a waiter in a tropical shirt and shorts, was at our elbows in a flash. I ordered my first Corona and a blackened Mahi-Mahi sandwich. Diane ordered water and the same. We did not talk much. We sat there and just looked at each other. I sipped my beer and thought of the commercial where the guy skips his pager into the ocean. I like that spot a lot. It was filmed on Paradise Beach in Cozumel by the way. The ocean was beautiful. Between the café and the sand was a hedge of very unusual flowering foliage. Butterflies flew from flower to flower. Diane mentioned that we could get up in the morning and watch the Explorer come into port. I said that would be nice. Our sandwiches arrived in their baskets with lots of fries and mango and black bean salsa. They were large sandwiches and very good. I ate mine and my fries and most of Diane’s fries as well. We are on the Zone diet plan and potatoes are not on the favorable list of things to eat, but I was on vacation so what the heck. I took that attitude a lot during the next week.
    We skipped dessert, signed our bill, showed our hotel card and headed back up to the room to change into our swim suits. I put on by red Speedos and Diane put on her black tankini with the blue, green and yellow flowers. She looked great. Before you get the wrong picture in your head my Speedos are baggy shorts. We checked out two towels, hit the beach and found two chaise lounges to fall into. Diane opened her book; I did the same:
    Chapter Five of the Lovely Bones
    Part of me wished swift vengeance, wanted my father to turn into the man he could have been-a man violent in rage. That’s what you see in movies, that’s what happens in the books people read. An everyman takes a gun or a knife and stalks the murderer of his family, he does a Bronson on them and everyone cheers.
    What is was really like:
    Everyday he got up. Before sleep wore off, he was the man he used to be. Then, as his consciousness woke, it was if poison seeped in. At first he couldn’t even get up. He lay there under a heavy weight. But then only movement could save him, and he moved and he moved and he moved, no movement being enough to make up for it. The guilt on him, the hand of God pressing down on him, saying, “You were not there when you daughter needed you”.
    The book touched me but at times I found it too heavy, I found it to be in some ways too close to home. I fell asleep. Sometime around four thirty the beach attendant told us he needed to collect and stack the chairs for the day. He gave us about another thirty minutes, and we had to get up. I didn’t want to; I was having dreamless sleep, and the best kind of sleep it is. Diane wanted to walk, feel her toes in the sand and the waves. We set off north, walking and collecting shells. We did not say much, mostly listened to the sound of the small waves and people watched. There were not many people, but a lot more than the year before. I could not get over how many people, particularly the girls, felt it necessary to talk on their cell phones. I left mine at home; Diane brought hers, but rarely used it. We walked a bit more then headed up to the pool for a quick dip.
    We were sitting around the pool when a very beautiful but not quite real looking young lady walked by. A better term would be she strutted by. She was wearing a very small yellow bikini top and an orange sarong. This muscular guy was hanging all over her. The two of them turned everybody’s heads.
    He sure likes her, Diane said. I replied he probably paid for them, and likes his investment.
    Around five thirty Diane said she wanted to get ready for dinner. That sounded good to me so back up to the room we went. The brown marbled lower lobby of the hotel was like a refrigerator after being out in the sun, but it felt good. Once in the room, Diane hit the foot deep square shower with the marble bench and it's strange backwards turning knobs and I sat on the floor in my damp swim suit and turned on the ball game. I am a baseball fanatic and missing the playoffs is the only drawback to cruising in the fall. I think it was game three between the Yankees and the Angels. My team, the D’Backs was already gone so I watched the game rather impartially (not really, I wanted the Angels to win). I soon fell asleep on the floor. I love napping during a baseball game. Diane finished her shower and with one cute foot poked me until I woke. I took a quick shower, put on some dress slacks, a print shirt, Brutini loafers and down to dinner we went. We wanted to sit outside again and were surprised to see that it was raining. We stood in a glass walled lounge called the Ocean Room and noticed waiters rolling tables through the door from outside. A rehearsal dinner for a very large wedding was being rained out. In about a minute there was a break in the rain so we made a run for the Seabreeze Café. We reached it only to be told that it was closed for a private party. Well, where do we eat now? The lady bartender told us the Hibiscus restaurant inside also serves light fare so we walked back in. On the way back in we passed the yellow bikini and muscle couple still intertwined, orange sarong and all. Diane commented that he was getting his money’s worth.
    We sat down in the almost empty restaurant and took a look at the menu. I have traveled a bit and I am usually suspect of most hotel restaurants. I think they tend to be overpriced and not that good. That is one of the reasons we cruise. The food on a cruise ship is a much better value than you can get in most resort hotels. Tonight, however, would be an exception to my rule. Diane ordered the Shrimp Caesar Salad and I ordered the Jerked Spiced Churrasco Steak. It came with green beans and garlic mashed potatoes. When they brought it out it was about nine inches long by three wide and thin like a flank steak or London boil. Now I grill a lot of steaks, and do it well so I tend to be critical. This steak was great. The best one I have ever had on the road, period. The steak was juicy, tender, and spicy with a garlic and parsley pesto sauce on top, delicious! I took about three lovely bites and realized that the steak was folded in half lengthwise. The thing was eighteen inches long. There must have been a pound of steak on my plate. I saw how many shrimp Diane had in her salad and she at the same time said she needed more protein so a large piece of my steak went on her plate. That still left a lot. I asked the waiter if the steak was supposed to be this big, maybe the chef made a mistake? No sir, enjoy it. I did.
    About this time our daughter Jeri and her husband Mark came into the restaurant. They drove down from Melbourne to spend the weekend with us.
    We were very glad to see them. Jeri looked at my steak. I gave her a bite or two; they were not ordering having eaten on the way down. We chit chatted for awhile mostly about Jeri’s job as a registered nurse and made plans for the next day. I commented on the view from the air, all the large houses built right on a bunch of small winding rivers. She informed me that all bodies of water have their own private alligator in them. That reminded me of a story I saw on the news about a grandfather who got bit in the face saving his grandson from an alligator. I said I knew Diane would do the same for Nickolas (her Cocker Spaniel). I knew she would do the same for me. Jeri partially disagreed; she said Mom would feel sorry for the alligator. I would make lousy alligator bait because I am so boney. She said Diane would ask the alligator if he wanted some butter with that, it might make me easier to swallow.
    I signed for dinner. We went to the lower lobby that had some shops and an arcade. We window shopped and then we played a few games of air hockey. We decided to call it an early night so we could hit Lincoln Road in the morning.
    Our rooms were both on the twelfth floor so we said good night. Diane and I hit the bed right away. The early morning hours finally caught up with us. Diane curled up with her book instead of with me. I tried to read, but could not concentrate so I turned on the TV and tuned into the end of another playoff game. I watched about five minutes and turned it off and myself as well.
    The next morning we were both up bright and early. I pulled back the curtains and sure enough there was the Explorer of the Seas there in the distance. The phone rang. It was some kind of fancy two line cordless that did not work well and we had to answer the call on the speakerphone. Jeri was calling to say Let’s Go! I yelled: we will call you back as soon as we are dressed. She yelled back: Are you naked? I yelled: it is none of your business.
    Diane put on white Capri pants with a black tank top and I put on white shorts and a black rayon Liz Claiborne for men tee shirt. For some reason in our old age Diane and I seem to dress in like colors a lot. We don’t plan it that way, not all the time. One of the benefits is, if we become separated while shopping or something, I can remember what she is wearing by looking at me and then find her.
    We called Jeri, she and Mark came down the hall to our room. It was wet outside from a sudden rainstorm and Diane decided to wear her misfit tennis shoes instead of her good sandals. Jeri took a look at her shoes and discovered that one shoe was a size 8 ½ women’s and the other one a size 8 ½ man’s. Well, I tried. We were now going to have to find a shoe store.
    We took the elevator down to breakfast in the main restaurant. The place was packed due to a wedding and some kind of convention that was taking place that day. We had coupons for a free breakfast, since it was included in our RCC package. We went with the buffet, which looked quite substantial. I needed grazing practice for the coming week. The buffet had lots of pastries, eggs, an omelet station, crepes, fresh made waffles, smoothies, and all kinds of fruit with the exception of prunes! Orange Juice and coffee were also included. We ate well, looked out the window at the rain and hoped that the blue sky off in the distance would come our way. Mark, who is a big eater, loved the breakfast and got his money’s worth, or should I say my moneys worth.
    After we finished eating Jeri and Diane wanted to go upstairs for a last minute make up session and grab their purses. I had my camera with me and wanted to take some pictures. I asked Diane to grab an extra roll of film.
    They left for upstairs and I said I would meet them in the main lobby. I went up there to take pictures of a very beautiful room. It was huge with columns all around and a beautiful mural painted on the ceiling. It was being decorated for a wedding reception. While I was taking pictures an attractive young lady in a wedding gown escorted by an older man in a nice tuxedo came through the lobby and went to a waiting white Rolls Royce limousine. Nice. I said a quick prayer to myself asking God to bless her and make it work. Diane called to me, we went outside and the Valet retrieved Jeri’s black Accord LX Coupe. The driver commented how nice the car was. Hey, I don’t co-sign for no junk!
    We headed down Collins to the Lincoln Road Mall.
    Now I am sure that many of you are reading this and thinking to yourself; “when is this guy going to write about the cruise?!”
    My response is that a cruise is a lot more than just the time you spend on the ship. It’s about the thinking about it and the planning, the getting there, the leaving, and remembering it. The joy for me is in the details. Details are the spices that make a cruise taste better. Just hang in there; we do make it on to the ship.
    We parked the Honda in a garage at the Corner of Lincoln something not far from Washington. The rain stopped and the hot Florida sun came out. We had walked about a block when Diane spotted a Foot Locker store and the hunt for new shoes was on. There was a buy one pair and get the second half off sale taking place so Jeri and Diane decided to team up. They both found shoes and I then discovered that I had forgotten my credit card. Oops. Jeri had to buy her Mom shoes for a change. I found some strange running shoes with split toes. I could not imagine Joel, my son the champion cross country runner, wearing those things. I took a picture of Jeri and Mark holding them.
    For the rest of the afternoon we walked, talked, and shopped. We went up one side of the mall and down the other. I finally broke down and bought something. I collect watches, wrist and pocket. I guess in some way I must think that if I own a lot of timepieces that I have more time. No, I just like watches like some people like rings or shoes or whatever. I bought (with Jeri’s credit card) a very nice chronograph in the Swatch Store. It is a special edition 007 Goldfinger watch, made to recognize the 40th anniversary of the Bond movies. It is very cool.
    We had lunch at the Nexxt Restaurant and Bistro. My son says that gourmet food is small portions artfully arranged. Not at this place. They put a lot more food on the plate than a normal human can eat at one time. I had an Indochine Salad that was out of this world. Pulled chicken with fresh spinach and romaine with mandarin oranges, all sandwiched between tasty tortilla shells. This Salad is best eaten with a Corona in a big frosty mug.
    We filled up and then headed back to the Wyndham for an afternoon lounge around the pool. When we walked into the lobby, loud and exotic music was coming out of the columned banquet room, the wedding reception was in full swing. It looked beautiful.
    We swam, we talked, and Mark and Jeri demonstrated some of their swing dancing moves in the pool. They are pretty good. Diane and I have now made that one of our two goals for our next cruise. To swing dance and look like we know what we are doing would be nice. The other goal is to learn how to scuba dive.
    It started to cool off so we went for a long walk down the boardwalk past the world famous Fontainebleau Hotel and a bunch of other places, turned around and walked back up the beach. We then hit the showers and agreed to meet in the Seabreeze Café for dinner.
    We had Cuban Sandwiches and other things that I don’t remember. The main topic of conversation was getting to the ship in the morning. Around ten pm we called it a night and left the café.
    We woke early. It was a beautiful day. Not a cloud in the sky. I took a gander through the window. In front of the Miami skyline, I could see our ship the Voyager of the Seas. I found myself starting to get anxious to be aboard. This would be cruise number five and I still felt the same excitement. Diane dressed in the bathroom while I threw on a fresh pair off white linen shorts and a sea blue rayon tee shirt (I bought four of them at eight dollars apiece, they retailed for thirty five dollars each). Diane came out of the bathroom wearing a short white jean skirt and a crinkly sky blue top. We stared at each other for a second; Diane shook her head, picked up the phone and called Jeri’s room. A few seconds later, Jeri and Mark knocked on the door. Jeri said don’t you two look cute. Diane said it was just a coincidence not a plan, let’s eat. It was now around eight forty five. We headed for breakfast, with the coupons for payment, which I forgot the morning before. Breakfast was the same except for fresh apple strudel instead of crepes. On the way to the restaurant I stopped by the front desk to ask what time our bus would be arriving. We were told that it would be one or one thirty. I was hoping to get to the terminal earlier, but it was no big deal, not yet anyway.
    We finished breakfast, and confirmed our plans to drive to Melbourne the day the ship returned. We planed to see Mark and Jeri’s new house and maybe drive to Downtown Disney or something to that effect.
    We headed back upstairs to pack up and chill in the room until noon which was checkout time. Our kids said their goodbyes, made hugs all around, said have a great time and then left. It was now around ten and housekeeping started knocking on the door. We told them we would be leaving at checkout time. We tried to sit and read, for about an hour, while the sea breeze wafted through the big window. I kept looking at the ship. Come to me she seemed to be saying, Come to me. I could not stand it any longer. Make your last pit stop, I cried. It is time to go! Diane had just enough time to flush and apply lipstick while I hitched all the baggage together. We pulled the train out into the hall. I punched the down button.
    The elevator was slow and when it finally opened it was full of people. I told Diane to take her bags down; I would wait for the next one. It was a few minutes later before another door opened and it was going up. A hotel staff member was on board with a bowl of lemon slices. He said get on, ride it up and then go down. I complied. I finally reached the lobby, gave a mighty shove to my three bags, picked up Diane and headed to the front desk. The lobby had quite a few bags in it, some with Grand Princess Tags, and some with the green VY tags on them. The Princess tags surprised me because I thought that ship left from Fort Lauderdale. There were some bags on a cart with blue tags, with the Voyager of the Seas handwritten on them.
    We checked out and then found a couch to sit on because there was still about ninety minutes to wait. We sat for awhile. We moved to a seat closer to the door. We saw a group of people speaking Italian head outside with the cart of bags and the handwritten tags. A couple with a cart of bags with the green VY tags, followed. I decided that outside looked good to me too.
    I hauled the bags down the stairs; a couple of valets saw me and took over. Diane and I started our bus vigil on the stairs. Diane moved to a bench in the sun. Where is the bus? Where is the bus? It was now past one fifteen. One of the Italian men examined the VY tag on one of my wife’s bags and reported something to his group and a discussion ensued. I do not know what it was about. I did notice that one the female members of the group was wearing velour slacks with multicolored horizontal stripes and the weirdest pair of white clogs I had ever seen, they looked like small flotation devices.
    The man with the VY tags came over to me and informed me that his wife had called the shuttle service and found out the bus was running behind because downtown Miami had fourteen streets closed due to a Monte Carlo style car race. There were 200,000 spectators watching it. He thought it would take us hours to get to the terminal. This was not news that I wanted to hear.
    At two fifteen the bus arrived. The driver was someone I recognized. She drove us from the terminal to the Eden Roc Hotel after our cruise the year before. I knew we were in good hands. The first thing she wanted to know was where were we at eleven that morning? Eleven! All who spoke English exclaimed that we did not know. Too bad, she said. I took a deep breath told myself to forget about it, or maybe it was Diane who told me to take a deep breath and forget about it. Okay, we are on our way now.
    Twenty minutes later we were heading down the ramp to the terminal, the ship filling up our vision. We had passed a few fenced in streets and I thought I could hear racing engines but nothing delayed us. I had forgotten just how big the Eagle class ships are. The NCL and Carnival ships looked small next to the Voyager. We waited for the driver to unload, found ourselves a porter, one of which was arguing with the Italians because they tried to tip him in Liras. This ain’t Rome! He told them. We gave the driver and a porter some good ole American dollars, grabbed our carryons and headed into the terminal.
    We flashed our ID’s when necessary, headed up the escalator and found a large group of people sitting in front of three x-ray machines. We formed a line and waited for enough people to leave the chairs and then we took their place. I was watching my watch. Diane was being cool. I think it was about a half hour before we took our place in line at the machines. I remember that there were a lot of apologies for delays etc, etc. We had filled our documents out online so at least we did not have to worry about the pink forms.
    It took about five minutes to go through security, without a hitch, (I was not wearing Rockports). We walked into the check in room to find a very long and winding line. Everybody automatically queued up in it. I estimated that the line contained 400 people. Not good. I stood there for awhile and then walked over to a security officer and informed her that we had already filled out our documents. I showed her the printed confirmation. She pointed to her right and said go to the end to the Terminal Coordinator’s desk, it is a much shorter line. We rolled down to the correct desk and Glory; there were five people in line. Five minutes later we handed our paperwork and our credit card to the Agent, she took about one minute, said Welcome back, enjoy your cruise, handed us our Sea Pass cards, cabin number 1234. We flashed our cards to a security officer at the foot of the escalator located just in front of the Terminal Coordinator’s desk and up we went. At the top another dual line for Sea Pass security, the up your nose with a fat neck picture (the officer politely removed Diane’s hat because her hands were full) and then the, stand on that line, Hug her and smile picture.
    We rolled into the ship, saw twenty people queue up for the first set of elevators; we went around them to the ones on the other side, two people there, an up elevator opened, in we went and punched the button for Deck 10. The glass elevator went up and so did my spirits. The ship looked great. We crossed the ship to the starboard side into the cabin passageway and rolled our way forward to cabin 1234. Card in the lock, open the door.
    We made it. We gave each other a big hug and stepped out on the balcony. We were looking at the container terminals and as far as I was concerned the view was fantastic. We heard an announcement that we could not make out, so I stepped back in and turned up the cabin speaker. We had thirty minutes to grab lunch before the life boat drill. The cruise had now officially begun. Time to hit the Windjammer cafe.
    Derrick
  2. -Gramps-

    "Cruising" Day Three

    By -Gramps-,

    Reading this old blog makes me want to take another cruise. I'll settle for a long trip in the coach to somewhere really warm, like Tarpon Springs. Hopefully that should happen soon.
    Voyager of the Seas 10-06-2002 to 10-13-2002
    Part III Sunday: Departure, Dinner, enjoy the Night
    “I want to go to the Windjammer! I’m hungry!” I did not voice these thoughts out loud. Diane was on the balcony talking to Christine on her cell phone. “We are on board. Did not take too long to check in, the cabin is the same as last year, etc, etc.” As many of you already know the main topic of conversation on a cruise is cruising. That’s just the way it is. It will not change, so we just have to accept it. The subject changed to Nickolas, (Diane is his Mom and gets to spell his name any way she wants) our Cocker Spaniel. This could take awhile, so being that there was no luggage to unpack, I explored the cabin. Explored is too big a word. I checked out the cabin.
    First, I did the manly thing, found the remote and turned on the TV; My Big Fat Greek Wedding was on. I love that movie! (Diane is Greek). Second, I needed to do another manly thing. I opened the bathroom door. I stood there for a while and then pushed the big white button. The sound reminded me of a joke told by the Cruise Director on our Carnival Cruise. “In case of engine failure, the captain asks that all passengers please flush at the same time.”
    Guess you had to be there.
    Diane poked her head through the door and asked if I wanted to speak to Christine. (No, I want to eat) “Sure!” I stepped through the door and took the phone. I asked her if her husband managed to fix her car yet. She told me no, but he had towed it to our house and he knew what was wrong with it and she said that he should have it fixed before we returned. I was not going to hold my breath. I heard a funny bit of dialog from the movie. I told Christine to hold on, she had to hear this. I held the phone up to the TV and turned up the volume. The mother was giving the daughter the wedding night speech:
    “Toula, Toula, (Diane has a cousin named Toula) Greek women have responsibilities, we may be lambs in the kitchen but we are Tigers in the Bedroom!”
    Toula answers with “Eu! Please let that be the end of your speech.”
    “Did you hear that Diane? Greek women are tigers in the bedroom!”
    Diane responded with something to the effect of in your dreams and then took the phone from me.
    Christine must have given the phone to Joel, because the subject changed for a minute to that of cross country racing. “Well, are you okay with eighth place?” Joel had run in the College of William and Mary invitational the day before and finished eight out of two hundred and fifty runners. He wasn’t happy with his time of 15:30. (Yea, I’m bragging) I was glad he wasn’t happy, because I knew that meant he would reduce his time next race.
    There was another announcement about the boat drill in fifteen minutes.
    Darn, I know there is salmon up there in the Windjammer. Diane was back on the balcony, still in conversation. I grabbed my camera to take a few quick shots.
    There was a knock at the door. I opened it to find our cabin steward, (I know that the official title is cabin attendant, but old habits die hard), standing in the passageway with a very friendly smile on his face. I liked him immediately. “Hello Mr. Parker, my name is Collin and I will be looking after you and Mrs. Parker...” I read on his name tag that he was from Jamaica, of course I could tell that by his wonderful accent. He wanted to take a moment to explain a few things to me such as the laundry service, the safe, (what to do if you forget your code) the mini bar. The mini bar did not look the same as the one on Explorer; it had some funny looking flaps inside the front door. I pointed to the flaps and asked Collin if this thing makes ice. He looked at me with a “Cabin 1234 has another nice idiot sailing in it” expression and informed that little bottles of booze used to go there, but had to be removed because kids kept drinking them. He then told me how to reach room service and his hours and how to reach him. As he was leaving he gave me a big smile and said enjoy your cruise.
    Diane popped into the bathroom for a minute. She came out and asked “What are you waiting for? We need to go to lunch.” Like I did not know that already? We headed out of the cabin, with my sea pass in my pocket.
    We walked past the Egyptian artifacts in their display case turned right, right again and headed up the stairs to deck 11. We would discover that our cabin, when it came to getting to all the activities we wanted to do, was in the perfect location. We turned left out the sliding doors to the Solarium Pool and then made our way aft to the Windjammer. A very cheerful attendant handed us a hot plate and napkin wrapped utensils. Take the napkin and put it under the plate and hang on to it to save your hands from the heat. We got in line and immediately heard an announcement that the boat drill was being postponed due to late arrivals. The race was causing delays.
    Where is the salmon? I found a baked square, some curried lamb, and a small focaccia bread and turkey breast sandwich. Being so hungry I was somewhat impatient and got a little peeved when a young lady kept breaking in line in front of me refilling her dirty plate. She did do me the favor of telling me in accented English what was good.
    It was so late that we did not each much, because we had early seating, dinner was only about an hour away. We headed back to the cabin to get our life jackets and head to the pumpkin roundup.
    One of my bags and Diane’s bag were sitting by our door, I rolled them in, and noticed two folded terry cloth robes on the bed. I was pleased with that surprise. A couple of weeks before the cruise I had tried to order two waffle robes and was told they were no longer for sale. I did not want to buy the velour robes because of the amount of baggage space it would require to take them home. (I’m lying, I was just too cheap.) One of the robes had a bright Royal Caribbean logo on it, the other was quite faded, an easy way to tell them apart. There were also two large, thick brown towels with a note on them. I helped Diane strap on her life jacket, I put on mine and we were off to Cleopatra’s Needle on Deck 5.
    I will not go into much detail about the mandatory boat drill. We answered the roll call, being taken by Shelby the shopping coordinator, a pretty lady with large dark glasses and told her we were in cabin 1234. “That’s a good number, wait you are the Parkers, Happy anniversary.” We said thanks and she said we would be getting a note from her. We half listened to the drill instructions; Diane was looking over our Crown and Anchor discount coupons for stuff on the ship. I was wondering how anyone who did not speak English had any idea what was going on and I was also resisting the temptation to spit on my lifejacket’s water activated beacon. (Most likely my spit did not have a high enough salt content to work.) I knew enough not to touch the whistle. I found the boat drill klaxon most annoying. Soon it was all over and we snicked off our jackets, folded them up neatly and went back to our cabin. Walking through the Royal Promenade for the first time, we heard an announcement that due to the race in Miami causing so many late boardings, our departure would be after 6 pm.
    Waiting by the door of our cabin were two bags, one of them mine. I rolled it in, and we commenced to unpacking. We found it easier to do it in shifts so we would not constantly bump into each other. Diane went first, and I hoped that there would be some drawers left for me. There is surprisingly, plenty of storage space in the cabins. I took the right top shelf over the safe for shorts and tees. Diane did the same with the shelf just underneath. A short shelf under the safe is where we stored all the Compasses and other papers that we wanted to keep. Diane put socks, small clothing items, belts, etc in the drawers to the left of the desk; I did the same on the right. I put all my watches in the left night stand. Suits and dresses went in the closet that contained plenty of hangers. We put shoes on the floor, and some pullover shirts and such on the shelves to the right inside the closet. I stuffed all the empty bags inside of each other and pushed them under the bed. Camera and water shoes went on the curved shelves on the end of the cabinet. Small personal items went into the cabinets on either side of the mirror. The storage arrangement seems to be the same for the three RCCL ships that we have been on. No sharp corners, no protruding knobs. The inside closet door is bi-folded to get around it easier. There was one cabinet, left of the mirror, in the bathroom with room for all our bathroom things. The one inconvenience was the lack of an electrical outlet in the bathroom that will accept a hair dryer. Diane does not find the provided dryer to be adequate.
    While we were unpacking Collin came by to see if we had received all of our bags. Happily we said yes. We finished putting everything away. Diane did not want to change for dinner. She told me this as I was slipping on my suit pants. “Is that what you are going to wear?” she asked. I looked at her sitting on the couch making no move to change and answered no. I then put on some casual slacks and a rayon print shirt, my brown tassels, my new watch and we headed for the dining room. Outside was the other bag, sitting there all by itself. I took a look at the tag and it said 7234. Oops. I went back in and called that cabin but no answer. Diane spotted Collin down the passageway so she went and told him. He came and got the bag. Our good deed for the day was now done.
    Once again we took the stairs down to deck 5. We entered the Royal Promenade at the Café Promenade end. I noticed that the lighting and decor was bit more glitzy than that on the Explorer. Also a large bar stuck out in to the Promenade. I discovered later it could be difficult to maneuver by when the Promenade was crowded. We continued to the aft end and entered the Magic Flute dining room. Our table for ten, number 518, was off to the left in a corner formed by an inside wall and the window. We saw one couple sitting there. No one else would arrive tonight.
    We sat down and introduced ourselves. Wanich, our waiter from Thailand, was right there. Our assistant waiter was Joseph. We ordered dinner; main course was baked cod, and a couple of glasses of wine. When signing for the wine, I asked to change it to the wine and dine package. Wanich was happy to oblige. We ordered a Woodbridge Blush.
    Our tablemates were a little older than us, Mike and his wife Betty, from Boston. He was a CPA and they also owned a travel agency. This was cruise number 55. I am sure you have already gathered what the main topic of conversation was.
    Joseph poured our wine and we ordered dinner. This is where things get a little fuzzy. I don’t remember what I had every night; I quit keeping notes after the first night. So I can tell you this, all the menu items that Diane and I ordered were very good. No complaints at all. I usually ordered appetizer and the soup, salad, entrée and one dessert. Diane sometimes added the soup. We almost always went with Wanich’s recommendations. In other words, dinner was good and the service was excellent, friendly and fast.
    Diane and I were in pretty good spirits. We had a good meal, watched Miami slip away through the window. We had dined, now it was time to dance.
    We had some time to kill before the show so we visited some of the shops. I noticed that Sprinkles Ice Cream was not open yet and would not be for quite some time. We walked down to deck 4 and entered the theatre for the Welcome Aboard Show. Jeffrey Arpin, our cruise director could be quite funny and was more relaxed and natural than any of our previous Cruise Directors.
    The singers and dancers were at the first show, but I don’t remember them, I do remember Dan Wilson the starring comedian, and the acrobatics of “Duo Claudio” which were pretty amazing.
    After the show we went outside on deck 4 for a private stroll to the helipad observation point where we stared at the millions of stars, looked at each other, smooched for a while and did the “King of the World” on the bow of the ship. We didn’t climb up on the railing (it is angled inward to stop that) but it was still fun. The wind started to make Diane’s eyes tear up so we decided to visit the spa. Unlike previous cruises we wanted to make good use of that facility. So we made the climb up the stairs to deck 12. Once there we signed up for a couple’s massage class for the coming Wednesday and Diane went on the cancellation list for a Seaweed treatment on Saturday. The Sea days book up quick. We took a quick look around and headed back to deck 5.
    Time is not the same on a cruise as it is at home. It plays tricks on you out there. We went dancing in Cleopatra’s Needle and it was over before we knew it. We saw the crowd start to gather for the Bon Voyage parade which did not interest me due to the fact I do not like standing in the middle of a large standing crowd. We watched a few minutes of it from our deck. Sometime after eleven pm we called it a day headed back to our cabin, got ready for bed, put on our robes and visited the balcony. We watched and listened to the luminous sea, for awhile anyway.
    Derrick
  3. -Gramps-

    "Cruising" Day Four

    By -Gramps-,

    Part IV Monday: Day at Sea, Black, White and Red Evening.
    We woke before the dawn. The balcony door was open with a gentle breeze blowing the sheers across the bed. (A bed without a dog sleeping at our feet)
    I kissed Diane on the forehead and whispered “Happy Anniversary” she dittoed sleepily. Without another word between us we jumped out of bed, threw on shorts, shirts, shoes, grabbed a camera and headed out the cabin door. Dawn waits for no man or cute Greek girl. In just a couple of minutes we found ourselves on the Peek a Boo bridge on deck 11, best place to catch the sunrise and breakfast. It was a pastel sunrise, very peaceful. I took a few pictures, watched a cargo vessel in the distance. It was interesting to view the monitors and instruments in the bridge. Diane had brought her Bible for a little reading and meditation, I took the time to practice my Tai-Chi and pray as well.
    Soon Diane announced that it is now time to eat. This morning was a dining room morning, after a quick clean up.
    By nine we were sitting in the Carmen Dining Room, deck 3, which provided us with our first real look at the dining room as a whole. In the morning light I found it to be beautiful and elegant, very much like the dining rooms on cruise ships from the 1930’s. (I’ve seen pictures) Our waiter seated us with three nice ladies from upstate New York and a young couple from Italy, possibly.
    We ordered fruit, Eggs Benedict and hot tea for me. When Eggs Benedict are cooked properly, the whites are completely solid, the yellows warm. When my order came it was perfect. We talked with our tablemates for a while (primary subject matter). All of us had stories to tell. Diane’s wet luggage story impressed everyone.
    But you don’t know that story do you?
    It was our third cruise and our first with Royal Caribbean. It was on the Enchantment of the Seas in 1998. We flew Delta airlines into Miami one night early and stayed at the Hyatt, I think, the hotel with George Hamilton’s Restaurant. RCCL told us just to pack overnight bags along with our luggage. We take the overnights to the hotel and the rest would be stored at the airport and delivered to the ship next day. Diane was not so sure about this. We arrived at the airport with our carryons and did not see the rest of our baggage at all. We checked into the hotel and then hung around Bayside all day and into the evening. On the way back to the hotel we just missed the beginning of a huge thunderstorm. It poured for hours along with giant bolts of lightning. We watched from our balcony, it was some show.
    Next morning we were shuttled to the ship along with a lot of other people.
    When our baggage arrived in our cabin, Diane opened her bag containing all her evening clothes and to her dismay discovered them to be soaking wet. All the colors had bled from one dress to the other. She now owned a large assortment of tie-dyed evening wear. We took our shocked expressions to the purser’s desk and they dispatched the head housekeeper to our cabin on the double. They tried dry cleaning the dry cleanables and washing the washables, and when that did not work, they cleaned them again. We heard lots and lots of very sincere apologies. The ship staff did all that they could do but they were able to save only one pants suit out of six outfits. Diane would have to go to the Captain’s gala tie dyed or not all. She started to cry; I went to the sports bar and started to drink. She did finally come up with something she could wear (good thing, or my bar tab would have been huge) until the first stop in St Marteen. There she bought some very expensive hand colored silk clothes, no dresses, which she still wears even now. RCCL picked up the tab, eventually. They also gave us a big fruit basket and complimentary Cappuccinos every night at dinner. (Our waiter Barak felt very sorry for Diane and treated her very well.) The only thing that I can say is that we are still Crown and Anchor members.
    Enough about that, we finished breakfast to a chorus of you poor dears, said good bye and headed back to deck 4 for our morning walk. On the way I made a pit stop in the men’s room outside the dining room.
    The men’s room was in bad shape. I was quite surprised to find it so at ten in the morning. The floor was wet, the toilets not flushed and the room smelled badly. I had not encountered this problem on any other ship. I am happy to say that I made it a point to check the same room the next morning and found it to be in ship shape condition.
    Now, Diane says that I am not supposed to tell you about deck 4. It is a much better place to walk than the track up top. It is very wide and goes all the way around the ship, except forward and then you take stairs up to deck 5 and the helipad, loop around it and take stairs back down to 4 and continue aft on narrow wood decking that loops around the dining room. The ship’s crew uses deck 4 to get around and the four shuffleboard courts are all located on deck 4. Rarely did we see more than four or five people there.
    We walked hard for about forty minutes and then I challenged Diane to shuffleboard. We played a mean six games (we slam em!) she won three, I won three.
    At eleven we went to a Zone class in the fitness center. This is a subject that Diane knows a lot about. She researches it constantly on the internet. Together we have lost about fifty pounds while on the Zone plan. We plopped down on a couple of Reebok steps in front of Jo’s chart. She was pretty good and knew her stuff. Diane did not agree with her on food portion sizes but that was about it. We talked with her after the class and Diane signed us up for a session using their electronic body fat analyzer. I was not sure about that, but she was curious and wanted to try it. Our hook up time would be before breakfast on Wednesday.
    It was now lunch time. How can you get nothing done when you have to stop and eat all the time? That’s what I want to know. We headed for the dining room on deck 3. We did not rush, I enjoy the art located throughout the ship and wanted to browse a bit. The art forward included a lot of photographs and marble relief works. Very nice indeed.
    We strolled into the dining room and were escorted to seats at a large table. Soon we were joined by a party of ladies from the pool, one hopped into a pair of shorts to cover up before she sat down. Our waiter started with Diane and me and continued around the table. I broke from the Zone and ordered Lasagna. Diane ordered Spinach Torte. Yum. I noticed that the ladies all had a common accent and once they ordered and our appetizers arrived, I asked them what part of England they were from. Every lady looked up and glared at me like I had just sprouted a second head.
    “We are NOT English, we are from IRELAND”
    I had just committed a very large faux pas. It was on the par with someone from Georgia calling me a Yankee or someone asking my wife if her family is from Turkey. Bad, very bad. One of the ladies said to me “You have just made a large faux pas.” I apologized and asked them not to judge all Americans by me. I then said that I have Irish ancestry on both sides of my family and Diane has some on her mother’s side. They were most tolerant.
    So I rephrased my earlier question and asked them what part of Ireland they were from. All were from County Kerry. I had heard of that and asked some questions about their famous home. At some point I asked them if it would have been acceptable to ask them what part of the British Isles they were from. I found out that would have been and even bigger faux pas.
    Our waiter, from India, who noticed their accents, but obviously missed most of the conversation, asked them what part of Scotland they were from. I told him that he and I were both in the same kind of trouble. “They are from Ireland” I said. He responded that all English (not American) sounds the same to him, accents are difficult to distinguish. They did not agree that Irish and Scottish accents are indistinguishable. I told him that a Scottish accent is more guttural and an Irish accent is lyrical.
    One of the ladies said to me “You are now completely forgiven”.
    Good, I had a feeling I would be seeing more of them. I enjoyed their company, and I wanted them to enjoy mine. On this day the food and the conversation were very good.
    We ate dessert, chocolate something, and then went back to the cabin to chill for awhile before the Cruise Critic reception at three thirty in High Notes. The invitation had been left in the room number plaque the day before. Diane decided that because dress was formal tonight she was going to get an early start. She hit the shower. I showed her how to use the red button to make the water hotter.
    I wanted to sit on the balcony and read. I finished “The Lovely Bones” while waiting to board the day before and now was reading “Cold Mountain” a very good Civil War novel set in the mountains of North Carolina. I read with the gentle sound of the ship’s wake keeping me company.
    They sat together quietly for a minute, the only sounds the snap of beans and the hiss of Sally pulling thread through them with a needle and, from inside the house, the mantle clock ticking with the sound of a knuckle knocking on a box. Esco and Sally worked together comfortably, hands sometimes touching as they simultaneously reached in the bean basket. They were both quiet and slow in their movements, gentle toward each other, and they touched each pod as if it were a thing requiring great tenderness. Though not a childless couple, they had retained an air of romance to their marriage as the barren often do. They seemed never to have quite brought their courting to a close.
    I hoped that Diane and I would be like that. I want it to seem that we have never quite brought our courting to a close. My thoughts were pleasantly interrupted by Diane telling me it was my turn in the shower.
    The shower stall is small, with the drain in the side, not the floor, where you would be constantly standing on it blocking the flow of water. If the shower stall drain were to be blocked water would end up in the cabin, especially on smaller ships that have more movement. I liked the way the shower head slid up and down a rod at the push of a button. The attention to detail impressed me. The sliding round doors were certainly better to lean against than a curtain. I have heard of people falling out of the shower booth during rough weather, on much smaller ships.
    We put on fresh shorts and such and began the climb up the stairs to the High Notes Lounge on deck 14. Once again, I admired the artwork on the way up.
    We walked into High Notes, where I found the layout of the place to be a little illogical, when compared to Dizzy’s on the Explorer. There were a few people sitting. I made a nametag for Diane and myself and then started to sit down when I was told the seats were saved. We then had to move to the upper level to find seats. We sat down near a gentleman with the name Michael, who recognized my name and introduced himself as Buspilot. I had seen him on the Cruise Critic boards a few times. Soon we were joined by Irish Eyes, and her brand new husband. We chatted with Patti and Gordon for awhile, about the primary subject, ordered mineral water, which we had to pay for, and enjoyed a couple of canapés. A ship staff member, who is also a member of CC introduced himself, said a few words and then the ship’s Loyalty Ambassador, Lynn explained the Crown and Anchor Society to everyone, told us we could book a future cruise while on this one and then receive shipboard credits, etc.
    And that is when I found out we were missing a C&A complimentary wine tasting happening simultaneously.
    A minute or two more and the party was over, everyone got out of there quick.
    Diane let it be known that she would have much preferred the wine tasting or the pool to this party where whiskey sours were free and water had to be paid for. She was disappointed. I knew she would get over it. Tonight is Formal night.
    We went back to our cabin and changed into our formal wear. We enjoy the first formal night more than any other on the ship. Tuxedo and gown are required. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we fell in love during our first date which happened to be our high school Senior Prom. We fell in love then, we just did not realize it for a few months.
    I put on my S&K Pavarotti tux with the brocade cummerbund and bow tie that I purchased in an antique store. It has a watch pocket, in which I put a nice gold pocket watch with chain that I bought at Wal-Mart. Diane wore a strapless black dress open in the front with an inner white dress that has horizontal white stripes. (Picture will be posted later) She looks like a million bucks in that dress. By five we were on deck 5 in front of Cleopatra’s Needle in time for the Captain’s reception. We stood in line to have our picture taken with the captain, a picture that looked good that we forgot to purchase. I was surprised at how young the captain appeared to be. I found him to be very outgoing and personable.
    We stayed in the lounge long enough for a drink of champagne and a few dances. The floor was rather crowed and there was one couple in unusual native dress, it looked Austrian or Dutch or something, very noticeable especially since they were waltzing like mad around the floor their hands out like a one bladed windmill. I made sure to steer Diane out of their way.
    We left to promenade down the promenade, got in line for one of the backdrop pictures, and strolled back up the promenade after the flash. We were just in front of the jewelry shop when I saw something that jogged my memory. Diane saw something that got her attention and moved away so I took the opportunity to jump into the shop. I looked for a staff member. A tall man with a full beard and no name tag asked me if he could help. I told him I needed to buy a dozen roses like the ones on display outside and I needed them in a big hurry, to be delivered to table 518 in time for main seating. He picked up the phone and called the florist. He explained to someone what I wanted, asked for my cabin number, I told him 1234, he said “you’re kidding” and then asked for my Sea Pass. “You will take the flowers out there?” I said sure, they look great. “Okay, I am actually a guest on the ship with you, but I will deliver them myself.” I didn’t know how a guest could handle this so well, but who was I to question an obviously gifted man?
    I caught up with Diane before she missed me for too long and we claimed a spot in which to see the Captain appear on the bridge over the Promenade and make his welcome speech and introduction of his staff. Fifteen minutes later I was walking through the dining Room with Diane on my arm. Our table was full tonight. In the middle of the table was a beautiful arrangement of a dozen red roses in a cobalt blue vase. We sat down in the middle of the table and I asked Diane if it would be all right to move her flowers. Her chin dropped, and then she smiled and said okay. Our table mates, now that they knew who the flowers were for, asked what the occasion was. “Our 30th Anniversary” I told them. We received many congratulations and Wanich moved the flowers to his counter.
    Our new tablemates included two newlywed couples. Newlyweds Mary and Quinn were from New York City. The other two couples were from Tennessee. They would discovery that they lived within a half hour of each other. One couple was celebrating their tenth anniversary and it was their first cruise. He owned a tile and home improvement business and was in awe of the workmanship on the ship. He could not believe how beautiful and expensive it all was. The other newlywed couple looked to be in their twenties. I did not get to know them because they did not come back to the main dining room again until the last night of the cruise. The three oldest men wore Tuxes, the two youngest wore sports coats. Quinn wore a great looking Tuxedo with a double breasted black vest.
    I made it a point to tell Quinn and Mike that they looked sharp.
    Dinner was fun. Lots of cross conversations and jokes and cruise comments of course. Inquires about what every ones’ plans for the week were etc. Most all had the filet mignon. I found it to be a little bland after my Wyndham steak but it was still good. I had a lobster bisque soup that was very good. Diane and I ordered the Soufflé with liqueur for dessert. Sometime towards the end of the meal, the wait staff serenaded us with a happy anniversary song and presented us with a yellow cream cake. That would be consumed later that night along with a half bottle of Chateau Michelle Riesling.
    We broke up just before eight thirty. Quinn and Mary paired up with Diane and me for most of the evening. I found out that Quinn worked for a specialized trucking firm that hauled very sensitive and or very heavy items like missiles, tanks, the Hubble telescope and spent nuclear fuel.
    We attended the evening’s show together. Jeffrey was again very funny. I found Dreamscape, a multimedia production, to be very entertaining. Some of the flying sequences were almost ethereal. The dramatic and acrobatic finale has a man wrapping is arms in a long suspended cloth and then flying out over the audience. I imagine that sitting in the main section of the theatre would make this part of the performance more dramatic than it appeared to be from our seats in the balcony. After the show Quinn and Mary went to the newlyweds get together in The Vault. Diane and I went back to Cleopatra’s Lounge for a little more movement. Who knows we might even listen to the croaky Karaoke singers. After all, we looked great and the evening was still young,
    When we finally opened the door to our cabin at about one thirty, we found Cake, Wine, and Roses waiting for us in our room. There was also a gift from Collin; two swans, wearing sunglasses, facing each other their long necks forming the shape of a heart. We loved them but we had to move them to the couch.
    Derrick
  4. -Gramps-

    "Cruising" Day Five

    By -Gramps-,

    Part V Tuesday and Labadee is over there.
    Another morning of delight began, another morning with no alarm clocks, no Katie Couric, no disturbing pager calls. Today is going to be a great day; a day of nothing to do and happy to do it. I awoke slowly, very slowly, and took a look out the open balcony door. I could see the village of Labadee.
    The resort area was on the other side of the ship.
    I slipped on my robe and stepped out on the balcony. It was already very hot. I looked down at the blue-green water and immediately noticed large jellyfish swimming by the dozens, ghostly white beach umbrellas opening and closing. I was seeing these creatures from deck 10, they had to be really huge, not something that I wanted to meet at eye level. This was not swimming with the sting rays. The bay’s salt content must be down due to a lot of rain water pouring into the bay from the mountains. We could thank Hurricane Kyle for providing optimum conditions for these unpleasant creatures. However, the heat and the jellyfish were not going to be a problem for us, Diane and I had no plans to leave the ship. Unless you were kayaking (we did that the year before) or wave running (book them before the cruise) Labadee was a day of lying by the sea. Reclining around the Solarium pool with a good book and a good woman seemed a much better plan to me.
    I stepped back in, leaned down on the bed and ran my hand slowly down Diane’s bare back. After thirty years the touch of her skin still causes my fingers to tingle. She rolled over and smiled.
    We were ready for breakfast, a brisk walk and then lounging around the pool with a great selection of chairs. Diane put on her swimsuit and cover-up; I put on my Speedos, (Remember? They are big red shorts) a Del Sol T-shirt and sneakers. We retrieved our sunglasses from the swans. We ran the stairs up one deck and aft to the Windjammer. No line, this IS a great day. We sat there eating our eggs, smoked salmon, melon, and sausage as the wave runners zipped around the ship sounding like a herd of wet weed whackers.
    They did look like fun. Off in the distance, I could see the parasail and the blue, green and orange kayaks. This was a most pleasant sight. We took our time sipping our water and nibbling on a second helping of cantaloupe.
    Off to deck 4, of course, for our morning constitutional. We had the urge to put on some speed this morning. I tended to get ahead of Diane so I would circle the helipad until she caught up. The section of deck around the dining room was closed for cleaning so we had to detour through the auto sliding doors past La Scala. If I hit the sensor just right and made a circle, we could slip through without breaking our pace. It looked weird but it worked. And the icy blast of air felt great.
    We were flying, around the deck, up the stairs, down the stairs, through the doors, around the port side, and…what is that awful smell?
    “Diane do you smell that or is it just me?”
    “It is you” she replied. I sat myself up for that corn toss. But there was a bad smell coming from a large blowing vent on the port side. I am guessing that it was the exhaust port for the garbage incinerator. We never noticed the smell at any other time. The source is still a mystery.
    We finished our walk; we worked up a good sweat which should make the cool pool feel great. We headed topside with a stop to pick up towels, (the note said to return them or be charged twenty dollars, this prevents people from leaving them on the chairs I betcha) and we grabbed sun screen, and books. The Solarium had about five people there when we arrived. The hardest decision of the daytime now faced us. Where do we sit? There? No. Over there? No. Here? Okay. Weary from decision making, we stripped to our swimsuits and I started to sit down when Diane said:
    “I am going to the spa at the party pool, this one is closed.”
    Get in hot water? Okay. We walked to the main pool area and entered a spa. We had it to ourselves just long enough for me to figure out the controls and get the jets moving when another couple entered the pool. We chatted with them and found out the lady could not tolerate a lot of sun, and they also noticed the jellyfish. They were enjoying the cruise; she had been in The Spa the day before and received the seaweed wrap, which she found to be wonderful, and afterwards bought 600 dollars worth of stuff. I could tell by the look on her husband’s face that he did not find that so wonderful.
    We sat in the soup for about fifteen minutes and then went back to the Solarium pool. Without hesitation, I dove in. The water felt great, we splashed each other for awhile and then hit the chairs and did nothing until lunch time. Well, not exactly nothing. I did a lot of thinking. I reflected on the last year, all the emotional, mental, and physical pain that Diane and I had to share. The main reason for this Cruise was to have healing moments like this one.
    I was reading an inspirational book titled “God’s Psychiatry”:
    One of the finest ways to relieve tension in your life is to picture still water clearly in your mind. Maybe a little lake nestling among some pines. Maybe a tiny, cool spring on some hillside. Maybe a calm sea with gentle rippling waves.
    After the picture becomes clear, then start repeating and believing, “He leadeth me beside the still waters.” Such an experience produces a marvelous surrender and trust that enables one to face the heat of the day confidently, knowing there is refreshing and relaxed power awaiting under the leadership of one wiser than we.
    I did not have to imagine a still sea, I was on one.
    I must have slept some, because the next thing I knew it was after one.
    Diane, not wearing a watch but in tuned to her internal clock, informed me it was time to eat, so we were off to the Windjammer. It was closed. If you wanted a big lunch you best be on the Island or in the dining room. Wait! How about Johnny Rockets? That would be different. Up another deck and we were there.
    I liked the place; it reminded me of the Silver Diner. Good food and good music. We ordered the chicken club on wheat and one strawberry milkshake to share. The shake was so thick I thought I was going to pass out trying to suck it through my straw.
    After lunch, back to the pool. At about three the Solarium started to fill up with people, I am not sure why. Some time after the Ship’s horn blew we were pretty sun soaked so we headed down to the cabin. Once there we took our time showering, and we were both on the balcony when the ship started sailing a bit late for Jamaica. I snapped a few pics.
    We lounged around the cabin reading and after five we started getting dressed for dinner. Diane put on a long form fitting purple dress with a red and purple scarf around her shoulders; I put on a Jones New York gray plaid suit with an iridescent purple-blue shirt and a color coordinated J.Garcia tie. I put a silver pocket watch in my right pants pocket. I also put something special in my inside coat pocket.
    We left with a little time on our hands, so we moseyed around the shops and had a couple more pictures taken, which we did not buy, and went to dinner.
    We may have gone down to the photo area and played “who can find the picture of us first game.” I always loose.
    Tonight was Venetian night, and I looked forward to it, just like all the nights. We sat down and noticed that the younger newlyweds were not present. Wanich, who always addressed us by our first names, gave us a cheerful greeting and made his recommendations. We ordered a bottle of red wine, Mondavi, I think. I don’t like red, but I liked this one. I ordered the tomato salad, roasted garlic soup, and went for the steak again. Diane ordered a lamb dish as her main course.
    Everyone went to Labadee except us. Mike and Betty said they wished they had not. Due to the extreme heat they decided to return. They spent more time waiting to board a tender than on the island itself. I commented on how quiet it was around the pool.
    Dessert was great as usual and all of us left a little earlier than usual because we wanted to attend the Crown and Anchor welcome back reception.
    The reception was in Cleopatra’s Needle and there were free drinks and chocolate covered strawberries and such. Captain Olsen made a speech and recognized the couple that had made the most cruises with RCCL, one hundred and eleven, and awarded them a big bottle of champagne. Lynn made her Crown and Anchor pitch again. I considered that to be unnecessary since all present were already members.
    The floor was then opened to questions for the captain; any kind of question.
    I thought this should be interesting. It went something like this.
    Q. How do you spend time with your wife?
    A. How do you spend time with your wife?
    Q. How much money do you make?
    A. Not much but we have great vacations.
    Q. How many miles to the gallon does the ship get?
    A. It doesn’t, it gets 55 feet to the gallon of fuel.
    Q. How did you meet your wife from Kentucky?
    A. I meet her on a cruise ship.
    You get the drift, really intelligent questions. From behind me a women jumped up and yelled Tor! And then asked something in what was obviously Norwegian. I looked around and it was the windmill lady. The Captain looked perturbed at the question and answered in English. “No, I have no plans to visit (somewhere) when I return to Norway and that was not my mother asking.” The woman let out this huge and I mean huge laugh.
    And that was the end of that. Do not address the Captain by his first name even if you are from the same country.
    It was now time to see Two Funny Guys, I first excused myself to the men’s room but that is not where I went.
    I walked back to our seats and took Diane’s hand and we went down to deck 3 and sat very close to the stage. We were now in the most crowded section, so I looked longingly at a couple of empty seats in the mezzanine. We did not move. The Two Funny Guys were funny. They came on after Jeffrey made his very funny comments about the Hey Mon, smoke sellers in Jamaica. The Two Funny Guys interacted with the audience, yelled at them for being late, that sort of thing.
    After the show it was back to Cleopatra’s Needle for the big Karaoke semi finale competition. We sat down up front right next to the dance floor. The singing started. Diane picked up a song list and started browsing through it while I sat there with my right leg bouncing a mile a minute. I was thirsty and needed some bottled water. I took my coat off, and then I put it back on, and then took it back off. Diane said “are you okay?” Just thirsty. “We can go to the promenade and get some water and come right back” No, I don’t want to leave. A few people sang, some good, most bad. After the fifth or sixth person sang, the hostess, Michele I think, asked if Derrick is here. I stood up and walked to the microphone in front of the video prompter. Diane looked shocked. She knew I had no interest in singing a Karaoke song.
    Michele then said for me to tell the audience (the place was packed) my name, where I was from, and what I was doing.
    “Hello, my name is Derrick, I’m from Portsmouth Va. (a big cheer came up from my right) and I am celebrating my 30th anniversary. I would like to sing this song to my wife Diane who is sitting over there”. I pointed to her where she was sitting with her shoes off and her feet up on the chair in front of her.
    I then stepped away from the monitor and moved toward her. A big cheer went up. The music started, it was not a Karaoke song, it was music that I had brought myself, a very slow but jazzy ballad called “I Just Never Say It Enough”, by Wayne Watson.
    I sang to Diane. I looked her in the eyes and never looked away.
    If I called you every time that I think of you, the phone would be ringing all day. I keep thinking these feelings will mellow with time but not yet, no way. We’ve had our share of heartache and trouble, we can look back and laugh at it now, but a mystery keeps haunting me, how we hurt those we love most somehow, somehow.
    A real love expression is long overdue, so hear my confession of my love for you-I just never say it enough and before it’s too late and time’s up; you’re more than all I dreamed you’d be, an answered prayer, a gift of God above. But I just never say it enough.
    I believe God inhabits the human heart. I believe it more now than ever before and I see His reflection in You, in You and I’m sure, yes I’m sure that a real love expression is long overdue, so hear my confession of my love for you- I just never say it enough…so before it’s too late and time’s up, you’re more than all I dreamed you’d be an answered prayer, a gift of God above.
    But I just never say it enough. I just never say it; I just never say it enough. Nooo, I just never say it, I just never say it enough. Noooo… oh…. oh.
    I finished the song, I have sung before at my Church, but never in front of a crowd quite this happy. The all came to their feet and cheered, and it was loud. I put the mike back on the stand, took a little bow and ran over and kissed Diane.
    Michele then told the audience that I was not part of the competition; I just wanted to sing something special for my wife.
    Sometime later a gentleman with a large group won the competition with his great rendition of “Proud to be an American”. We all cheered for him.
    He was good, but not as good as me. That was Diane’s opinion, not mine.
    Karaoke ended and many people came over to congratulate us, including the right side people, who were there from Virginia Beach, thus the reason for the cheer. The man who won said “you had us all crying over here”.
    An hour or so later, after a walk and a snack, and a trip to the Vault that did not last long, we went to our cabin and found a cute towel dog sitting on the bed.
    I knew it was going to be a good day. It turned out better than planned.
    Derrick
  5. -Gramps-

    "Cruising" Day Six

    By -Gramps-,

    People, after reading this cruise story, have asked me how I remembered so many details. The answer is....I don't know. Half the time I can't remember where I put my car keys.
    Part VI : Wednesday; Learn to Rub Her the Right Way or A very Adult Day!
    We both woke around eight. Diane was still pretty mellowed out from the night before until I knocked over a glass of last night’s wine into the phone. I grabbed a towel and mopped it up. We had to keep our appointment with Joe, and her body composition tester, in the fitness center at nine, before breakfast, so we got up and dressed as the ship was pulling into Ocho Rios. I find it interesting this ship does not need the use of a tug boat. With its azipods and lateral thrusters she can maneuver with speed or finesse completely on her own. The crescent shaped harbor was more attractive than I thought it would be, and since our cabin was on the port side we had a perfect view.
    I grabbed a small piece of our anniversary cake and wolfed it down and then we left our white animal menagerie (2 birds and a dog) on the couch and headed upstairs to the spa. Joe was ringing up something at the register so we had a short wait. Diane climbed up on the table first, after removing her right shoe and sock. First Joe stuck a sensor to the top of Diane’s right hand and the top of her right foot. Joe then asked her age, her height (she calculated it in inches) and her weight (before the cruise of course) and entered the info on a keypad on the analyzer. It took about thirty seconds for the machine to do its thing. I went right after her.
    The results included what percent of your weight is fat and lean and the number of pounds of fat, and lean (muscle plus bone). Another result is the basal metabolic rate. The metabolic rate is how many calories your body is using each day. And the machine analyzes your total body water content in liters and the percentages of how much water is stored in the fat and in the lean weight of your body. Finally the analysis recommends what your target for all the above should be and how many total pounds you should lose. Joe said the pounds will include water, everyone stores it, percentage of weight is more for women than men except in this case, I was storing more than Diane. I was over hydrated. I believed it, water seemed to be leaving me at the same volume that I put it in.
    The bottom line was that Diane needed to lose 3.2 pounds or increase her muscle mass and I needed to drop 0.8 pounds or increase my lean mass as well. This could be accomplished by raising our metabolic rate with harder exercise. We walk a lot so she suggested we speed it up, carry hand weights, and pump the arms. In other words, become a little breathless and sweat more. If after exercising we could still talk to each other we were not working hard enough. She also recommended a good dose of vitamins including one that helps to keep everything flowing through your system properly. We both know what she was talking about. Elemis, in partnership with Steiner seems to sell a good product. She told us what a six month supply would cost and said that if we wanted the vitamins there would be full credit each for the analysis and she would throw in two really neat dry body brushes made from some kind of cactus fiber. We could come back to see her at any time during the cruise, nothing had to be bought then. We signed for the analyses and that was it. As a whole I found the session with Joe to be quite informative and helpful. We did come back and purchase a three month supply of Elemis vitamins for each of us. The price was almost the same as we have been paying for Zone vitamins so for us it was just a matter of switching brands.
    After finding out that I needed to loose weight the first thing I wanted to do was eat breakfast, Diane agreed. So it was off to the Windjammer for omelets and a lot of fruit. You may be wondering why did we do not eat in the dining room more often. It is easier for us to have a Zone Meal (a balance of protein, and carbohydrates) in the Windjammer. Plus, we like the view and the omelet station.
    After what for us was a late breakfast we went back to the spa and borrowed a couple sets of hand weights and headed down to, you guessed it, deck 4. We put on the speed this morning. All the decks were open and we walked hard. I broke a good sweat early with the extra weight. I will say this; the view of Ocho Rios was great. We walked (with me making a lot of circles on the helipad) for forty five minutes and then headed back down to our cabin.
    We saw Collin in one of the suites down the passageway from ours and exchanged cheerful good mornings. Collin had already advised us that Ocho Rios was not that good of a place to visit. He said “this is not the real Jamaica, if you want to see the real Jamaica come back for a week and visit some other really beautiful places on the island.” It was obvious that our deciding to stay on the ship (that is right, two days in a row) was not a bad idea to him. He did tell us that Dunn’s River Falls was good; however, because of Diane’s back, we were not going to go and risk a slip and a new injury.
    I would like to mention this about Collin. He was extremely friendly and cheerful. He kept the ice bucket and our wine bucket full, he watered Diane’s roses. He took the swan out of the bed where I had tucked it in and carefully placed it on the couch and he put the one that I left in the shower, with a bar of soap, back in the shower after he cleaned it, the shower, not the bird. He also had a surprise or two up his sleeve as we would find out later.
    It was now about eleven o’clock and Diane wanted to watch the excursion channel and book a swim with the rays for the next day and a snorkel and swim trip in Cozumel for Friday. We never book except through RCCL. We have heard too many horror stories about bad leaky boats, late returns and missing the ship and things of that nature. I suppose we could save a little money but we set a budget for the whole trip and if some things cost a little more, we just spend a little less somewhere else, i.e. trips for tee shirts, a nice budget blowing ring or necklace in Cozumel, less drinks on the ship. Vacation (in a Motorcoach or on a ship), just like Life, is a trade off sometimes. I just don’t care to worry about the price of every little thing.
    We made our choices for Don Foster’s Sting Ray City snorkel tour for twelve thirty on Thursday and a Catamaran snorkel and swim for ten am on Friday in Cozumel. I followed the instructions for booking through the TV and accidentally bought the first excursion twice. I discovered that about a minute later after looking at our sea pass charges. I would have to have those charges removed. I planned to take care of it right after lunch. We did nothing but sit for a little while on the balcony and then headed for lunch in the Windjammer again.
    I had some kind of seafood stew with mussels and clams and shrimp and boy was it good. Also some lamb, Greek salad and other stuff. I chased that with a Canolli, (I hope I spelled it correctly), that sinful little flaky pastry with the cream filling. (it ain’t a Twinkie) The server recommended that I take two.
    I only needed one so I took it, walked away, took one bite and turned around for another one. The server reminded me that he said I should take two. I loved those things, from then on if I noticed they were in the Windjammer or the Promenade café, I was asking for one faster than you can misspell canolle.
    After lunch it was back to the spa for our couple’s massage class. Not having a professional massage before, I was not sure what to expect, other than I thought it would be a pleasant experience. We arrived and were told to have a seat in a very attractive marble waiting room overlooking the bow. We did not have to fill out any forms as I saw others in the room doing. In about five minutes, Stacey the young looking and attractive massage therapist came and shook our hands, (Stacey’s hand felt strong but her skin was very dry which surprised me) and escorted us into a small room with marble walls, piped in music and a padded massage table. There were two low cabinets in two corners, one with a small sink; both had bottles of oil and small vials of aromatherapy scents sitting on them. Stacey asked who wanted to receive the first massage and I said Diane. She asked if Diane had underwear bottoms on (no massage if you don’t) and if so to undress and then to lie on the table. She would step out to offer Diane some privacy. It sounded to me like Stacey is from England; she pronounced all her e’s hard. Privacy sounded like preevacy. Diane thinks she is from Australia. Could be. At times, when she was giving me instructions, I had to listen carefully.
    Diane positioned herself facedown on the table, with nothing on but her Victoria Secrets, covered by a sheet. In a minute Stacey stepped back in.
    She moved very slowly and deliberately and uncovered Diane’s legs or leegs as she pronounced it and we began. First she selected a blue bottle and poured a generous amount of oil into my hands and hers. It smelled faintly of eucalyptus. She moved over Diane’s left leg, and I took the right one.
    I know that touch is very powerful so I really wanted to learn. I watched Stacey very closely. She showed me different strokes that can be used, from a delicate touch to deep-tissue kneading. Strokes varied in speed and pressure. First, I had to keep my hands relaxed and start working slowly and rhythmically to warm up Diane’s muscles, and gradually build up speed and pressure. Always stroke firmly in the direction of the heart and lightly on the return. Do not lift your hands; Diane should feel the massage as one long series of strokes. We moved up and down her legs, very lightly over the back of the knee, a very sensitive spot. I started to get a back ache, Stacey, seeing my position, said don’t just use your shoulders and hands, move your whole body, stay on top of your hands and use your legs to move. I did and it worked much better for me and Diane. After a few minutes, Stacey asked Diane how I was doing. I heard a muffled “Great!” Stacey told me I had the hands for it, that I was doing greeat. We applied thumb pressure to her feet and heels, back to the legs and we moved to her back and shoulders leaving one hand in contact with her at all times. We lightly stroked her back to warm it up applying more and more pressure staying off the spine. We moved to the head of the table to message her shoulders and neck, squeezing the muscles of her shoulders. Diane was feeling pretty good by this time. We used very little oil because the friction is important; also do not pour oil in your hands over the person because drips are distracting and cold. Stacey was not using the anti-stress oil that I would use at home because she performs so many massages; exposure to the oil all day long would wring her out. We finished and now it was my turn.
    Stacey stepped out and I undressed to my Hanes and climbed on the table.
    Stacey retuned and Diane, who looked kind of sleepy, took my right leg.
    It felt really good, my face in the whole in the table, closed eyes and soft music playing. Stacey had hands, let me tell you, she could press and squeeze. She could feel knotted muscles and give them special attention, like my shoulder blades and lower back, Diane’s right calf. Diane’s hands felt good but she was not as strong. I had four feminine hands rubbing and squeezing and kneading my legs, my feet, my back, neck and even my head. I was being indulged; a massage-a-trois’. It was wonderful. I feel asleep and did not know it.
    I heard off in the distance, “that’s how it is done.” Diane told me I could get up now. I did not want to. I dressed and Stacey came back in. She showed us the different massage oils and essential oils like lavender and such. One bottle of oil came with our class and we bought a bottle of aching muscle oil. We paid for the course, 110 dollars each and that was it. She suggested that we go to the fitness center and hit the sauna and showers. Seemed like a good idea to me.
    There was one thing that surprised me. We started the session at two, it was now four thirty. I had no idea, it seemed like only a few minutes had passed.
    We hit our separate saunas for about fifteen minutes, showered and headed back to our cabins, feeling very relaxed and a little bit tingly at the same time.
    Sometime later, we started the process for dinner, Caribbean night. I put on a Jones New York navy blue suit and a light blue shirt with French Cuffs; antique silver cuff links, a matching art deco Fossil wrist watch and a J Garcia tie with big bright red, blue, gold and purple squares. Diane wore a sea blue and green long loose skirt with a tropical design made out of gold thread, and matching sleeveless top. She slipped on white sandals with gold studs on the top. We thought we looked pretty good, we knew we were feeling good. We had rubbed each other the right way.
    Diane and I walked into the dining room, Wanich, in his vest that matched my tie, pulled out our chairs and said good evening. Betty told me I looked spiffy. We ordered a bottle of Asti. I ordered the Pepperpot soup, pork loin stuffed with apricots and nuts and Diane ordered fish with Mango Salsa.
    We both ordered the crab and shrimp salad appetizers.
    We all asked about each other’s day. Quinn and Mary took the rafting trip; our friends from Tennessee went on a jeep safari tour and sampled the local cuisine (big mistake) at a small Jerk Chicken bar. Mike and Betty stayed on board. I told them about our day, and to tell you the truth I was a bit out of it. I was under the influence of Stacey, Diane and three glasses of Asti. I did not even notice when our Tennessee tablemates fled the table, due to illness. Sometime during dessert it seemed like something was different, not sure what, oh well.
    Dinner was two hours tonight, everyone (not ill) was pretty mellow and talkative.
    We finished dinner, roamed around until time to go to the ice show at nine. Diane had picked up our tickets sometime Monday, without me. First we stopped by the excursion desk to fix our too many tickets problem. There was a very short line, we told the excursion person what I did, he said it happens all the time just ignore the extra tickets when they arrive in our cabin and he would remove the charge. Fine, on to the show.
    The ice show was cool (no pun intended). Being close to the action was a big plus. It was composed of musical numbers, flyers, and acrobatics using some kind of ring, along with a mock figure skating competition. The fake judging and sit and cry segment was a little corny, but when one of the male skaters hit a triple axle, even he got excited.
    Show over we had a little time before the Love and Marriage show at La Scala, it was a busy night tonight. We grabbed a macadamia cookie or two on the way there.
    The show was an absolute adult’s only riot. One of the couples that were chosen (by drawing) was the Norwegian Windmill. I could not believe it.
    Diane would not let me put our names in the pot. No way, no how. Considering some of the questions she was right to refuse. There is no easy way to accurately review this event. Jeffrey asks eight questions of the couples who are seated back to back, after the man and wife answer all eight; he reviews them to see how many answers match. Points are awarded for the most correct, some questions worth more points than others.
    Some of the questions were the following (not necessarily in the proper order):
    1. What color is your wife’s underwear? (she is not wearing any)
    2. Two part question, what size bra does your wife wear? (She isn’t wearing one)
    3. When and where did you meet for the first time? (three men missed this one)
    4. What was the most unusual place you did the horizontal mambo? (you can answer this one for yourself, cause I not going to tell you my answer)
    The Norwegian couple won, I think they were cheating, whispering to each other in an unknown tongue, but that is just my opinion. They received a bottle of champagne and a lot of laughs.
    The night following a good day was now over, we tried the Vault lounge but it was too smoky for us so we tried High Notes for some Latin Music instead. We danced for awhile and then called it a night. We opened our cabin door and found our tickets for the excursions, and a white elephant on the bed. I understand that seeing one of them is a good omen, a sign of good luck. I think I was about to get lucky. (I told you that this was a very adult day!)
    Derrick
  6. -Gramps-

    "Cruising" Day Seven

    By -Gramps-,

    Part VII Thursday: Swimming with the Rays.
    At seven forty five the phone rang. I answered and it was the spa giving us our wake up call in time for Diane to keep her appointment. She was having the seaweed wrap and deep tissue massage. I envied her. I was going to be spending the morning without her. She threw on her clothes and headed out the door. I got up a few minutes later and tried to figure out how to spend my morning. She was going to be gone for a couple of hours. I went out on the balcony and watched us sail into Georgetown’s harbor. I was immediately struck by how flat Grand Cayman was. It was quite a contrast from the previous two stops. The air felt good and the water was beautiful so I decided to pull up a chair, put my feet on the railing, and read for awhile.
    Around nine, I thought another dose of Eggs Benedict might be nice, along with some company, so I made a solo visit to the dining room. I arrived at the entrance and a waiter immediately escorted me to the only partially seated table. I assume that the standard procedure is to not seat someone at a new table until all seats at the last table are full. My escort looked at that table with four people and two empty chairs, looked at the other tables, looked back the semi empty table again, and with an agonized look on his face said “sir will this do?” I said sure, He looked at me hard and said “are you sure?” I thought what is the problem? I responded that it would be fine. He seated me and as he was leaving he leaned close and said “I am so sorry.” I found that curious.
    There was a family of four seated at the table, a rather large man in a tank top with a big Fu Manchu mustache with his arms crossed, both elbows on the table. There was the Mom, teen age daughter, (both rather large people) and the son who looked to be around ten or eleven. I had the impression that the son, who sat with his chin in his hand, was not having a very good time. He looked thin and tired, with dark circles under his eyes. The mother asked me where I was from. I told them Portsmouth VA. They were from Connecticut, which surprised me; I would have thought their home was a little further south than that. The waiter asked for our orders, all wanted juice except the boy, I ordered coffee. The father also ordered Danish. When it arrived at his left elbow, he did not move the plate or uncross his arms, which he kept on the table, he simply cut it with his fork in his right hand and ate it. This was not an easy feat. The juice arrived with the Danish and the daughter took a sip. She made the most awful face. The mother asked her what was wrong. She replied that apple juice tasted terrible with toothpaste. I supposed she was right. She made this face every time she took a sip. The waiter took our orders, the father ordered the same as me, the Mom and daughter a country breakfast and the boy fruit loops. The waiter asked what kind of milk. The boy said no milk, orange juice. The waiter replied, "you can have juice, but what kind of milk?” The mom jumped in and said no milk, he puts orange juice on his fruit loops, and he’s just a little different. The waiter looked stunned, “Different, that is Different.” He shook his head and walked away.
    The orders come all begin eating except the boy, his mom pours his orange juice in the loops and the boy just stares at this concoction. We chat about our week, they ask me what I did on shore, and I inform them I have not been off the ship. They are surprised at that (I assume the dad is surprised, he has not said one word yet)
    I tell them my wife (she is in the spa) and I would be happy just to stay at sea the whole seven days. The boy gives me this look of utter disgust and says “Not me! I would just Die!”
    The father then yells at him. “Finish your **** fruit loops, you haven’t eaten anything this whole week and you need some nutrition.” The boy seems to shrink and he takes a minimal bite. I estimate two to four loops. I look at the poor boy with his sad dark eyes and want to jump up and yell “Don’t make him, he’s smarter than you are.” But I quickly finish my eggs, as the son drowns his loops, daughter sips, smacking her lips and grimacing, Mom still smiling, big Dad frowning, arms crossed the whole time.
    As I left I had to ask myself; how did the waiter know what was coming?
    I roamed the promenade for a while and then went back to cabin 1234, patted the dog on the head, and picked my book back up. Soon a very relaxed and glowing Diane came through the door. She was feeling very good (for the second time). I told her that I was sure her morning had gone better than mine. I related my fun breakfast starting with the apologizing waiter. After she finished laughing, she said the boy’s dark circles were probably caused by allergies. “What do you think he’s allergic too?” I asked “Fruit loops and orange juice” was her wise reply. That was it, I told her I wanted off the ship.
    We jumped into our swim gear, grabbed towels, sun screen, hats, and went downstairs to deck 1 to catch the tender and do some shopping; we had ninety minutes before it was time to meet our tour at the pier and leave for Sting Ray City.
    We purchased two bottles of water as we headed off the ship. Our sea pass cards went Ding and we were on our way. We sat on large benches which provided space for rear ends on top and life jackets inside. In Miami, Diane had bought two nifty straps with replacement flip top caps for water bottles. The straps were on a ring that was just a bit too small for our bottles so I gave mine a good hard push, collapsed the bottle and squirted a fountain of ice cold water which quickly found its way under the posteriors of the people in front of us. They jumped up and I apologized as I toweled the water up. They said it felt good. I aim to please. Diane said that she can’t take me anywhere.
    The tender docked and we walked about a hundred feet to the only shop that I had to visit, the Del Sol shirt shop. We were in there for awhile, because we both like the stuff they sell and so do our kids. Diane bought something for Jeri and Christine, finger nail polish for herself. I bought myself a shirt that had a black and white photo of a beach on the back that turns into a color photo after exposed to the sun. It also had the phrase No Shirt, No Shoes, and No Taxes. I wish. We walked around for awhile, bought postcards, jewelry, Christmas ornaments, and some more shirts. I took a picture of one of the bank buildings. Diane asked why. I replied that maybe our lost Global Crossing money is in there.
    At twelve fifteen we headed back to the pier to meet the tour group. We had a very short wait, along with quite a few other people. We walked a few hundred yards along the harbor to the waiting transportation, white school bus like buses. We climbed on board and as I was sitting I lost my camera lens cap. The passengers around us helped me find it. We drove along the main road for a few miles. It seems that Georgetown is a bit better off than say, Nassau or San Juan. Soon we turned right, down a one lane road and then stopped and backed into a gravel parking lot next to a boardwalk like dock. The dock was next to a channel about fifty feet wide. We left the busses and waited on the dock and soon a big green double decked pontoon boat named “Emerald Eyes” motored up, turned around, and tied up. Around thirty or so happy people stepped off and we stepped on. The bottom deck had storage bins full of snorkeling gear; we moved to the top deck and took a seat on the bench along the railing. It was a nice trip out to the sand bar where the rays congregate. The sky was blue, the water, at the head of the channel a brilliant blue. As soon as the Emerald Eyes cleared the channel it was full speed ahead. I sun screened up and went below to pick out our gear, masks and snorkels only, no fins. We go in with bare feet. I choose the only bright pink snorkel for Diane, knowing I would see it if we got separated.
    We reached the sandbar and tied up to a couple of buoy anchors. The area was pretty crowded with swimmers with these big shadows moving among them. I counted four boats the same size as ours. The first thing I noticed was the noise. The swimmers were making it. It was loud and somehow familiar. I soon realized what it was. It sounded just like a crowded kid’s playground. They were having fun. You could hear it, raw, contagious fun. I had to get in the water, but first came the mandatory instructions.
    “Slide your feet when your walk, avoid stepping on the rays. There are buckets of food floating out there. If your want to feed them, just hold your hand under them, they will find it. Don’t lift the rays out of the water; don’t run from them, you will only back into another one or someone else. Don’t be afraid of them. They will not harm you, they make their living being friendly to people. Listen, what does it sound like out there? They are having fun! “
    Diane and I went in. The rays were everywhere. The females were up to five feet wide, the males about a foot and a half at the most. When I held food they came after it, two or three at a time, flapping up my chest and swimming between my feet and legs. The tops of the rays were rough, and I soon discovered they did not like to be rubbed on the top, they would avoid it. Underneath, their skin was as soft as a wet mushroom. They liked being rubbed there. When feeding they would vacuum the squid right out of my hand. Some people found the rays to be scary and fun at the same time, but it was obvious that everyone was having a great time. Diane and I felt like kids again. I took Diane’s hand and we snorkeled our way out to the far edge of all the excitement. I wanted a different underwater view. With our heads in the water, the noise of the crowd dropped to a muffle. We watched the serene, elegant creatures; without a care in the world, gracefully glide their way through a forest of legs.
    It was an exhilarating hour in the water that ended all too quickly.
    Captain Don gave his short creature feature talk, which was full of interesting facts about rays, such as they sun tan like humans, they give birth to their young, etc. When he was done it was time to leave. No one wanted to go. It was now three pm, Voyager sails at four.
    We climbed back aboard the Emerald Eyes and soon we were motoring our way back to the dock. We had stored our shoes, shorts, camera and such in an empty life jacket locker. A young lady in a small swim suit had already claimed the top of it for as a sunbathing platform. I politely asked her if we could retrieve our belongings, she got up. I was bending over to pull all of our stuff out of the locker when she turned her back to me and bent over to retrieve her shoes. She was wearing a thong. She had no freckles on a certain part of her anatomy which is a lot more about her than I wanted to see or know.
    We arrived back at the dock, boarded the buses, and after a short drive, followed by a short walk, we boarded the tender for the ship. We went through security, dinged our Sea Passes and headed up the stairs to deck 10.
    We were climbing the starboard side stairs and had reached deck 6 when we noticed water dripping down the stairs. By the time we had gotten to the landing on deck 8 it was pouring down the carpet with it sagging away from the bottom of the stairs, because it was full of water. Deck 10, close to our passageway was flooded. The water was coming from deck 11 and the spa. I ran up the stairs to see what was going on. There was a crew of people with mops, squeegees, and lots of towels cleaning up the water. I thought the spa must have sprung a leak. A member of the crew told me that a sprinkler pipe had burst somewhere in the overhead inside the spa. It was obvious that they were working to clean it up in a hurry.
    I went sloshing back down the stairs to inform Diane what was going on, we entered our cabin for showers, and clean up for dinner. I looked out the balcony door and saw that the ship was moving out to sea. We must have been in the last group of people to come back on board.
    Tonight was the second formal night. I put on my tux, clean formal shirt and a royal blue satin vest that I wore at my daughter’s wedding and a gold Seiko watch that I bought during the cruise the year before. I accidentally put my tie on upside down and the darn thing kept falling over all evening. My vest matched Diane’s dress; a long clingy velvet thing with a short quarter sleeved jacket accented with sequined lapels.
    We headed off to deck 5 through the Promenade and into the dining room.
    Our friends from Knoxville were back at the table, the husband recovered from his illness. Wanich was his pleasant self, said good evening, seated us and made his recommendations for the night. Joseph laid out the bread, took our wine order, another bottle of Martini and Rossi Asti. Diane and I both ordered the crab cake appetizer and rack of lamb as the main course. The main topic of conversation for today was excursions. I don’t remember what every one else did. I remember telling them that swimming with the rays was as much fun as it looked on the Royal Caribbean TV spot. I described it to them in detail and finished by saying that those rays got to do things that I never did on my first date. It was a fun evening capped by apple pie for the repeat cruisers and Baked Alaska (which was prepared well, but I believe to be overrated as a dessert) for all the new cruisers.
    We left to promenade on the Promenade (I like that phrase) in our formal get up and have a couple more pictures taken. Along the way we bumped into the Krooze Comics doing a cops and robbers chase routine in and out of doors at each end of the bridge over the promenade. The cop came down the stairs and Diane yelled at him “They went thataway” he said thanks, the robbers came down after the cop was out of sight and I told them that Diane ratted them out. They said “ dat’s okay she’s be-uti-ful” and started blowing obscene kisses at her and telling her they would call her later. She got a kick out of that.
    We went into the jewelry store. I had the urge to buy another Fossil watch that I had been looking at for some time. The salesman asked if he could help me and we started talking about watches and my collection of them. I told him about some of my more unusual pocket watches and he said he would like to see them. I said sure, I’ll go get them. I left Diane for a couple of minutes and headed up to the cabin. Collin and another attendant were at the end of the passageway in front of the crew only door. Collin yelled “Mr. Parker, I thought I just saw you go into your cabin.” No. “Then it must have been your brother.” I had no idea what he was talking about. I opened the door and just about jumped out of my shoes. Sitting on the bed was a full sized man in my robe with Diane’s red sandals on his invisible feet. He was wearing my sunglasses and holding the remote in his invisible hand. It was the funniest “towel animal” I had ever seen. Collin had stuffed my robe with bed pillows, made a head out of a couch pillow and tied a napkin around the head to give him a sort of “ninja in bathrobe with remote” motif. I told Collin it was the best cabin surprise of any cruise yet. I also told him that I would let Diane discover it her own. He was all smiles. I did take pictures.
    I went back to Diane and showed off my special gold watch with the glass back and face. The salesman was impressed, even more so when I told him it cost twenty nine dollars at Wal-Mart.
    Soon it was time for the Broadway review in La Scala. It was okay, but I prefer original Broadway numbers to ones that have been souped up so to speak. It occurred to me that a real Broadway production on a cruise ship, say Guys and Gals, would be really interesting, but that would take too much time and not appeal to a wide variety of people. At this point in the cruise, however anything pleased me.
    After the show we went back to the promenade and discovered some our Irish friends sitting outside the Pig and Whistle. I said hello and they introduced me to those sitting with them. We pulled up a chair and the subject of accents, both Scottish and Irish came up. We talked about America, family and politics for awhile; actually it was a long while. It was tomorrow when we said good night.
    At twelve we went dancing in Cleo’s Needle and at twelve thirty we went back to the theatre to see the adult session of Dan Wilson. He was blue but for the most part funny.
    After the show we called it another great day. On the way to the cabin I told Diane that she was the best looking girl on the ship. She said “No, I am not, but I am the best looking grandmother.” That is for sure. I opened the door to the cabin and said you first. She walked in and screamed.
    Collin you are good.
    Derrick
  7. -Gramps-

    "Cruising" Day Eight

    By -Gramps-,

    Part VIII Friday: Rain, Rain, Don’t go away.
    We woke up at our usual time, around seven thirty. Our Catamaran swim and snorkel, or snorkel and swim, was not until ten thirty, so we chatted for awhile, about an almost incident from the night before. You have heard the saying that it is a small world. Well the world is small, even on the world’s largest cruise ship.
    Before Dinner, while walking through the Royal Promenade, Diane spotted a woman in a very short and very tight black spandex dress. It barley covered her. From the very top of the leg down it was black chiffon. This dress would not look good on a model and this poor woman was not one of those. Diane said to me “What was she thinking?” Diane added that if she were to make a list of the ten worst dressed people on the cruise, this person would be at the top. Less than five minutes later we saw another woman with the same type figure wearing the exact same dress. Diane was shocked. To see it once was bad enough, but the same bad dress on two women was inconceivable.
    Needless to say, inappropriate dress became a very interesting dinner conversation thread that evening, just as it is here on the boards.
    Now we jump ahead to eleven thirty and the late night comedy show in La Scala. Diane and I went in a little late, after the lights had started to dim. We sat down, along with some other people, and I leaned to my right to make some not so quiet witty remark about the woman in the bad dress when out of the corner of my blind left eye I caught a glimpse of a large leg completely exposed except for black chiffon. The woman (one of them) was sitting beside me. I almost swallowed my tongue. I came so close to embarrassing myself and her. The woman must have seen a not so normal look on my face because she asked me if I was okay. I said I just needed some water and motioned for a waiter. At that moment the show began, thank God. I then whispered to Diane that she would not believe who was sitting beside me. I told her and she started laughing. Good thing we were at a comedy show.
    We finished reminiscing; some time later got up, put on our swim stuff and headed out the door to the Windjammer. This was a day that we had looked forward to for a while; it had been fifteen years since we last visited Cozumel. We grabbed our normal fare and sat down to watch the ship come into port. Behind us was the Carnival ship Elation with her distinctive whale fluke stack. Off in the distance was the Grand Princess. That ship has a profile that reminded me of something familiar, but I could not place it. Then it hit me…it looks like a giant shopping cart.
    We tied up at the pier alongside the Rhapsody of the Seas. This should be a fun day.
    After breakfast we stopped at our cabin to grab all our gear, hats, camera, towels, etc. Then down to deck 1, disembark and head to the green catamaran docked just behind Rhapsody of the Seas. We walked between the two beautiful huge ships went on board the catamaran and grabbed a couple of seats aft. We were joined by a rather animated and very cute couple from Tampa. Dondi and Joe, had gotten married just the Saturday before. The catamaran sailed around the ships on its way to where ever it was going. It was quite a sight to see four cruise ships docked together.
    The sails went up (for show there was no wind) and we were given the safety lecture and soon we were anchored about fifty feet off shore. Diane and I hit the water pretty quick, I jumped off the side, and she took the steps.
    The water was great, temperature just right, the sun behind a cloud so it was a little dark but not bad. Diane and I floated around very relaxed, holding hands with our free hands resting on our backs. We listened to the parrot fish chewing up the coral, a kind of crackling noise, and watched the tangs swim around. The sea fans waved to us as we kicked slowly by. Diane and I said about two words for the whole hour. We communicated by pointing and nudging each other. It was probably the best snorkeling time we have had yet. The hour went by quickly and we were the last two out of the water.
    The boat set sail and next stopped at a little private beach with kayaks, volley ball and floaters. There was also a snack bar that served very good hamburgers, at least they smelled good, I only cash for tips. Next to the snack bar was a lean to selling Mexican Silver jewelry and such. Diane and I kayaked around for awhile; she collected shells while I played a round of volleyball. Soon it was time to leave.
    I sat down, pulled off my hat to put my camera on, sat the hat down on the bench and then everyone had to move forward in order to get the rear of the boat off the sand in order to back out to deeper water. Before I could get back to my seat the boat took off and away went my hat. The hat said Time Life photographer on it and was my favorite. It was an exact replacement for one that blew off my head while deep sea fishing in Diego Garcia. Oh well. I hope I can find another one like it but I doubt I will be successful.
    We partied on the way back. The captain said that there is a rule on his boat, no one is allowed to go without a drink. He was serving weak Margaritas and local beer. The music started, the dancing began and soon we were all doing the electric slide on a moving deck after drinking booze. It was something new for me and fun too. Diane and I do a mean slide. The conga line started after that with the grab and pour stop, Margarita mix for the adults and Sprite for the few kids that were on board. The captain would grab someone start squirting the proper mix down the person’s throat with everyone else yelling Go! Go! Go! I bailed out of the line before he could get to me.
    Once again we sailed around the ships, docked, and that was the end of our morning’s journey. A half a day still lay ahead of us. We decided to shower, change, grab lunch and shop at the duty free shops located in a mall just at the end of the dock. That is just what we did. On the way to the shops we passed a security officer pushing a young lady in a wheel chair back to one of the ships. She had her head tossed back and her eyes closed. She must have unconsciously left Senor Frogs.
    The shops were nice. We bought a good hand made leather wallet for Christine, some good tees for Joel and Mark, and a hat to replace the one I lost. It was navy blue with a red strip around the bill and two on the crown and said CoZuMel on it. Not bad. If I wore cowboy boots, I would have bought a pair at a little shop. The boots were the most supple and best looking that I have ever seen and I have been to lots of shops in the southwest. They cost about 300 dollars a pair and worth it.
    The mall was very hot. We shopped while I melted. We finally walked into a jewelry store that was air conditioned and I just stood in front of the wall mounted unit and let the sweat freeze on me. I cooled off enough to look around and saw some nice rings. I had bought a ring during our first trip to Cozumel, another one would not be bad. I tried it on one and it stuck. I told the clerk that I think it is stuck; he pulled out a bottle of Windex and sprayed my finger (I wonder if he saw My Big Fat Greek Wedding). I was then able to slide it off. It was a handsome silver ring with an oval turquoise stone. The stone had fine veins running through it. I knew it was the right size so I bought it. Diane picked up a few things and we left for the ship.
    When we reached our cabin it was close to five and time to dress for dinner. I put on a pullover collarless black short sleeved knit shirt with a Liz Claiborne gray checked suit, black tasseled loafers. Diane put on her hand colored blue and yellow silk outfit (See Part IV) with gold sandals. I put two battery powered lights in my pocket. These lights have a lanyard that goes around the neck and the lights strobe green, yellow, red. My brother in law got them from some MTV premier. I thought they might be fun later.
    We went to dinner, the Chef’s Dinner as a matter of fact. All were at the table tonight including the Tennessee newlyweds. It was lobster night. Everyone was in a great mood. All had a good time ashore. Wanich was his cheerful self, pulled out our chairs and then asked Diane and me what bottle of wine we desired, another Asti, I said. Hey, I like the stuff. We both, along with Mike, ordered the Escargots and the lobster. Betty said she doesn’t like rock lobster only Maine. I don’t believe in questioning a gift lobster’s ancestry. After eating the garlicky, buttery, sinful Escargots we all told Wanich to hit us again. That was just the appetizer for the appetizer. It was just as good the second time, give me some bread so I can get every last drop.
    Then our main course arrived. The tails were small but tender and oh so tasty. I took one bite and announced that I would like to challenge all to the first and hopefully annual lobster tail eating contest. The guys all said you’re on, we accept the challenge. Let the contest begin. Diane had two. I had four. I would have kept going but we had to be at La Scala by seven thirty to see Rain. There was only one show and it was expected to be packed. I had to have dessert as well. So four tails would have to be it. Too bad.
    After a pit stop we went to the theatre which was already filling up. Our friends from Tennessee were with us and we tried to find seats without obstructed views. Jeffrey said a few words and then introduced the group. I do not know what you have heard about Rain, and their tribute to the Beatles. Let me tell you this: They were absolutely great. They had the Beatles accents, both singing and speaking down to a man. I had to remind myself that they were not the Beatles. On the first song the crowd went wild. Everyone was on their feet, arms waving, shouting. The kids in the crowd must have thought their parents were insane. We were. The group would do sets and then leave stage and come back dressed as the Beatles in a later period like the Sergeant Pepper era. They performed about fifteen or twenty songs. It was a very fast hour. After the last song everyone screamed for them to return. They came back and did Hey Jude and Revolution, the place rocked and then it was over. Second seating dinner started late.
    Do not miss this group.
    I am not sure what we did for the next hour or so. Maybe we went to the photo shop and looked for pictures. Maybe we sat in the Pig and Whistle.
    Maybe I checked our E-mail for the only time during the trip. I think we went all over the place, there was something going on about everywhere. I just don’t remember. Around eleven thirty or a little earlier we went to Studio B for the Rockin’ thru the Ages Dance Party. I hung a light around Diane’s neck and around mine, turned them on and we hit the floor. It was a fun hour. They had a jitterbug contest, where the wrong couple won. A young German couple (newlyweds) was great and we formed a circle around them to watch them dance, but the judges did not seem to notice. They must have been blind. Diane and I were noticed by the cameraman but I don’t know why. The dance officially ended around twelve fifteen, the band left but the music kept playing so many of us danced until we were chased out.
    Diane and I then visited the Vault for longer than normal; our flashing lights were a hit. We stayed until about one and then called it a night after a trip to the Promenade Café for a chocolate something and a canolle. We returned to cabin 1234 and found a monkey swinging from the ceiling. Somehow that seemed the appropriate ending to a fun day.
    Derrick
  8. -Gramps-

    A Year Ago

    By -Gramps-,

    I have been meaning to write the second part (the better part) of our trip to Melbourne, Florida to see our daughter and Gavin, our new grandson. However, my writing has been delayed by a web site move, a pinched nerve in my neck (I can't feel two of my fingers on my left hand) and other related work stuff. Also it is an anniversary, a sad anniversary which has turned my thoughts towards another grandson and just how precious a life can be, even if it is a short one.
    I wrote this last year. I don't think I can or need to add to what I said.
    I have enjoyed being part of the motor home community. It means a lot to me. More than I can possible say. At this moment I am at Deer Creek Motorcoach Resort in Galax. It has been my refuge for the last few days. I am surrounded by my friends and I have needed them and they have been here for me. Yesterday I lost one of my grandsons. I never got the chance to meet him. Diane had to fly down to Florida to be with our daughter and her husband after we learned that her unborn baby boy who was going to be with us in just a few weeks was not going to be with us for long. I couldn't go with her and so I have been leaning on the community here and hugging the dog. I guess it has been Teddy's job to wash away my tears...and there has been a lot of them.
    As usual when I and my family are going thru a tough and emotional time I pray and I write........
    Daniel, my dear grandson:
    You were with us for such a short time today and then you were gone. Your life was a sunset, here for a moment and then no more. Now your Mother, Father and Grandparents are left with memories of what we hoped you would bring to our lives. We looked forward to hearing you laugh, seeing you smile, holding you in our arms.
    You are loved by your Mom and Dad and your brother and the rest of your family. I hope you know that.
    The Bible tells us that you are wonderfully made, designed by God Himself. The book of Psalms says that God knew you before he placed you in your mother's womb. You must be something really special for God to change His mind and take you back to be with Him. I know you are special. You were so small and only hours old when you had to leave us. But I promise you, you have already done what only a child of loving parents can do. You have brought your Mom and Dad closer together. You have made them love your big brother all the more. You have made us all draw closer to God.
    There is a time to be born, a time to die, a time to laugh and a time to be sad and a time to morn. Only God knows why the time between those things is short or long.
    Daniel don't be sad for us, don't morn for us, we will survive.
    Daniel, I want you to laugh!
    I want you to shout for joy because you are with your Heavenly Father!
    There is one more thing I want you to do. When Jesus comes to your room, and I know you have one, because the Bible says so, and he offers you His hand to hold and says, "Let's take a walk," go with Him.
    When He shows you all the wonderful Heavenly things He has made including the planets and the stars, remember that all of us, your Mom and Dad, your brother, and your grandparents will be looking at them too. Daniel, we will be thinking of you and looking forward to the day that we can take that walk together.
    With all my love,
    Your Grandfather.
    In Memory of Daniel Thomas Wheeler
    Born 5/4/2011 Died 5/4/2011
    .
  9. -Gramps-

    Route 89

    By -Gramps-,

    It has been a peaceful two weeks since May 22, the day we left our brick house in Portsmouth. Once again we had to take our coach on the road for service before we could actually start our first long trip this year. The coach hasn’t been parked the whole time since our last long venture, which took place last September, I think. We made a fall trip to our spot at Deer Creek Motor Coach resort (the one in Virginia). I left Diane there while I made a trip back home in the car for work-related reasons (why else would I leave the mountains?).
    In October, we hoped to make a trip to Asheville, North Carolina, to celebrate our fortieth wedding anniversary, but that didn’t work out, so we decided to go to Cape Hatteras, instead. We had a beautiful three days out of a planned seven, and then an uninvited guest named Sandy decided to crash our party. We had to pack up the coach and flee … as fast as we could. If we had stayed and tried to ride out a storm with an unpredictable potential for damage, we would have been stuck there for months; at least our coach would have been.
    We dropped the coach off at North River campground, which was the site of our next two group campouts, and then jumped in the car and made it home. Fortunately for us, Sandy decided that Portsmouth was not worth her time to visit. We sat in front of the TV, glad that we escaped all the wet, windy, destruction but at the same time feeling very sad for the people of New England.
    Between November and March we camped one weekend a month with either our Good Sam’s chapter or our FMCA chapter friends. This included two Christmas parties and three trips back to North River Campground (located near the Great Dismal Swamp) one to Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina, and one to the Virginia Beach oceanfront. They were easy fun trips. Our close friends Gary and Janis, who relocated their coach back in Elizabeth City, were there with us which made the trips extra special.
    One of the great highlights of our last group campout was the fact that my brother Rod and his wife Sharon joined us with their brand-new 26-foot Forest River travel-trailer. It is a very nice rig, I might add. They love it, and Picard, their Saint Bernard, does too.
    April and May were dedicated to using the weekends to shop for parts and materials to refurbish our kitchen. That project left very little energy for motor coaching. We christened our almost finished new kitchen with a special Mother’s Day/Joel’s Birthday Brunch. I did all the cooking…which consisted of a really good French Toast Casserole, Spinach Quiche, and a fresh fruit including bannans, blueberries, strawberries, (I forget the grapes) and strawberry-honey flavored yogurt salad.
    During the week of May15 our new Kitchen floor was installed and then all was done. Now, we really had the bug to hit the road again.
    We needed to get the coach inspected, and it needed an oil change. On the way to the service facility I discovered that the dash air was on the fritz again. It was a hot day and all it did was blow nice, warm air. I hoped that all it needed was a bit of Freon, but it turned out to be a much bigger problem than that so we made an appointment to visit Terry Labonte RV service. The guys there always take good care of us and our unusual Workhorse chassis.
    We arrived at Terry Labonte's lot late in the day, spent the night, and the next morning the techs discovered that we needed a new compressor, which they had in stock. They had the coach repaired by five that afternoon, so we spent another night in the lot, had Chick-Fil- A for dinner, and hit the road early the next morning.
    This all brings us to the afternoon of Friday the 24, when we climbed up Route 89 to Edmonds Road and then soon arrived at our beautiful lot at Deer Creek. It was a bit rainy and cold, but we didn’t care a bit. Early the next day I received a last minute invite to play golf with three friends (including my good friend Gordy) at the Blue Ridge Country club.
    I didn't play as well as I would have liked but I have improved since the last time I played the same course, so I guess I am moving in the right direction. Gordy said so and his opinion is very valuable.
    The next eight days provided a lot of opportunities to do a lot of things we enjoy. We made a few day trips to the small towns we love to visit around here including Galax, Sparta, Mt. Airy, West Jefferson, and Elkin. Each town has its own personality and things we like.
    Galax had a fifties car show which was fun. While there we made a run to Lowes buy some small parts for the coach including parts to mount my Z-Boost cell booster antenna.
    Sparta is an artist community with art galleries, good places to eat and clothing stores with squeaky wooden floors. We found some great clothing bargains there.
    West Jefferson is a very quaint and pretty place with a cheese factory and factory cheese shop located downtown along with an old classic movie house that shows first run movies for five bucks. There is a great old hardware store with a creaky wood floor where I found and purchased a handsome red handled Case pocket knife. The people of West Jefferson are some of the friendliest you will meet anywhere. We had lunch there, sitting outside with Teddy Bear. We devoured Bar-B-Que sandwiches, potato salad and fresh apple pie with ice cream for 7 bucks each. Remember, you can’t have good southern Bar-B-Que without sweet tea to go with it. That is a rule.
    We traveled back down route 89 so we could visit Elkin with our friends Bob and Wanda. We made a special trip to the Slightly Askew Winery, where you can buy some very unusual flavors. We love their wines and came back with a mixed almost case of bottles. From there we visited McRitchie’s winery and cider works for our second wine tasting. It was a beautiful day full of good flavors and good conversation with good people.
    The next few days were a mixture of coach washing, waxing, trip to Wal-Mart, more coach maintenance, and two more golf outings…both to the beautiful Crest View Golf Course just around the corner from Deer Creek. We met new owners, who will become friends, and we were reunited with already friends while attending the graduation party for Louie and Jesse, son and daughter of Laura and Barry, who built this special place. We enjoyed drink, food, fellowship and games.
    Memorial Day morning found us at a huge breakfast at Bob and Marlene’s beautiful site where there was plenty of smiles and food for everyone to get as much of both as they wanted.
    We made some new friends while walking thru Cool Breeze RV resort which is located right across the nine hole golf course next to our resort. We discovered a Holiday Rambler club chapter having a rally there. A new Vacationer caught my eye. It was a very late model one with a full wall slide and a great paint job. Eddie, the owner, happened to be outside trying to get his cable to work. A couple of other members were in the coach trying to figure out why there was no signal. This is the kind of think I love to figure out, so I immediately volunteered to help Eddie and his wife Sylvia, solve this electronic puzzle. I discovered that the TV antenna amplifier, which is supposed to switch to park cable when turned off, was not working. I made a temporary fix and advised Eddie that he should replace the stock amp with a more powerful Winegard digital TV antenna meter and amp. Eddie did just that, after visiting our coach to see how the same device works in our coach. It meant a trip to Camping World in Statesville, but it was worth it.
    That evening they invited us to be their guests at the club dinner out at the Mountain Surf Seafood restaurant, one of our favorite places, located just up the street from both resorts. We accepted, and as a result had a good dinner, and more good conversation with good people. Diane and I were also invited to join the club. We are giving that serious consideration.
    After dinner, we had dessert at the Cool Breeze meeting room. Before that Eddie and I performed a successful install of the new amp. We tested it and found that the park cable and off air worked just the way we wanted it to.
    We received another invite to attend a birthday dinner for Teddy, one of the owners and a golfing buddy of mine. We caravanned to Dobson, N.C., to a really fun place called The Depot, where I consumed a great half rack of baby back ribs with sweet tea, Cole slaw, sweet potato casserole, and hush puppies. We sat across the table from fellow owners Bill, his wife Connie and their son Mark, who was visiting from Washington, D.C. We talked about family, occupations, and the many things that’s go along with those two subjects. In other words, it was another evening of good food and good conversation with good people. Are you starting to see a pattern here?
    Diane and I drove back on our own and on the way we made a fortuitous wrong turn. We found ourselves missing our exit off I-77 to route 89 and so we took another road over to Fancy Gap where we turned onto the Blue Ridge Parkway, just as the sun was beginning to set on our right. It was a really pretty and peaceful drive back to our home. I opened the sun roof and let the mountain air blow in. Diane and I didn’t say much, we both were just enjoying the peaceful scenery.
    Diane loves the mountains just as I do. My roots are here. Diane’s heart is here, as it has been for years starting when we were young, in love, broke and sleeping in a tent. As we were driving she made the comment that our lives are like glasses of water and sand. Most of the time we have so many things happening in our lives that we are just shook up and the water in the glass is cloudy and brown. The mountains bring God’s peace and thoughts become calmer, our spirits become still. The sand in the glass settles to the bottom and things are then clear. I am not relating this the exact way that she expressed this, but the meaning is there I am sure.
    Tomorrow will find us on Route 89 and returning to our busy lives back in the big city. We do have friends and family there we want to see. Work is calling (literally) as well. We are taking some new clothes back with us, along with new pictures, but more important we are taking back new memories of this place, this special community called Deer Creek.
    We will be returning here. I say the sooner the better.
    Derrick
    "Gramps"
  10. -Gramps-

    A Half Year in Pictures

    By -Gramps-,

    I thought I would  tell a happy story. It is a picture story, about what we have done,  and where we have been, the first half of this past year. I have heard that pictures are worth a lot more than words.Take a look, if you please: Half Year in Pictures

  11. -Gramps-

    Depth of Field

    By -Gramps-,

    I really enjoy photography. It is the art of capturing a moment in time. Like any art form it is subjective and therefore what constitutes a good picture is really a matter of opinion. I learned that really fast from the people judging the very first contest I entered. What I thought were my best pictures received no mention and one that I entered as a lark in the still life category, almost took best in show.
    The most important thing is to know how to use your camera in order to take the picture you want at the time you want it.

    http://community.fmca.com/blog/62/entry-1378-a-bit-about-digital-photography/ Lesson one.
    So let’s continue.
    What is Depth of Field or DOF? Manipulating the DOF can change a picture dramatically and turn a simple shot into a really good one.
    DOF determines how much of the subject or scene you are looking at through your camera’s viewfinder is in sharp focus. Let’s change that to say acceptable focus. The area outside the part of the picture that is acceptably focused is known as the “Area of Confusion." The DOF focus range depending on the lens, can be from a couple of inches in front of the lens to infinity.
    Depth of field is determined by how far the lens aperture is open at the time of exposure. The smaller the aperture opening the greater the area that is in acceptable focus. The larger the opening the smaller the area in focus. f-22 provides a much greater DOF than say f-2.8. That is why shooting in low light makes shallow DOF easier to obtain or harder to avoid.
    When you look through the viewfinder the aperture is always wide open. If the f-stop, which controls that opening, changes automatically or by you because the amount of light reflecting off the subject increases or decreases, that f-stop change does not physically happen until the shot is taken. The reason for this is so while you are composing your shot, the image on the focusing screen will be as bright as possible so that you can focus. If the camera were to stop the lens down say to f16 while you are looking at the subject, the screen would go very dark. However, you may want to see the effect of the depth of field before you take the shot so many DSLR cameras have a DOF preview button. My camera has one. I focus on my subject, depress the button which allows me to see just how much of the picture is in focus, and if I like what I see I release the DOF button and press the shutter release.


    When taking a picture you really only focus the lens on one point, perhaps a person’s eyes, the center of a flower, a snowy peak in the middle of a mountain range, a rock formation in the Grand Canyon. Depending on the lens, and the aperture setting, the person’s face will also be in focus, but the background or the foreground, or in some cases, both will not. At the same f-stop a wide angle lens will have a greater depth of field than a longer lens. When shooting very close up shots with a high magnification lens, also known as a Macro lens, the depth of field will be very small.


    I now need to give you a small review. I told you in our first lesson that digital photography is based on film photography standards. It is important to remember that. Film cameras were and still are available in different sized formats. As I stated most DSLRs are built along the same design as a 35mm SLR. I didn’t tell you that also like film cameras, a DSLR is available in different formats. They are based on two different sized digital sensors: The full frame APS and the smaller APS-C
    APS stands for Advanced Photo System, An APS-C or compact sensor is smaller than a 35mm frame by quite a bit. This difference in size is called the crop factor. The 35mm format makes the angle of view larger (wider) by a factor of 1.6 as apposed to an APS-C camera. The crop factor leads to quite a bit of confusion when understanding lens focal lengths, which leads to confusion about the depth of field range of that lens. It gets even more confusing when you learn that APS-C cameras can use lenses designed for 35 mm cameras as long as they have the same lens mount. Lenses made specifically for APS-C cameras still use the same angle of view scale as they would if they could be used on a 35mm camera body, which they cannot. Well, they will mount, but if you did use one on a film camera it would cause vignetting, a darkening around the edges of the picture. Here is the really interesting part of all this. If you want to spend some big bucks you can purchase a full frame APS camera. The sensor will be the same size as a frame of 35mm film.. If you did that then you would need to also purchase lenses designed for use on that full frame camera. Those lenses will usually work with the same manufacturers APS-C camera, but remember, not the other way around. Confusing ain’t it?
    Here is a quick summary of the above. My Minolta 35mm auto focus lenses will mount and work on both my Sony Alpha DSLR cameras because Sony purchased Minolta in 2005 and kept the same lens mount. The auto focus lenses that came with my Alpha DSLR cameras will mount on my 550si 35mm camera but they cause the vignetting effect. There are other auto exposure limitations as well; in other words they are not a good fit. I own two full frame APS lenses that will fit and work on all my SLR cameras. If I were to purchase a professional APS full frame DSLR from Sony (I would love an A99!), those two lenses would work just fine with that camera. I can only hope to find out just how good one day.


    I leave you with this last bit of info. There is a scale etched on any DSLR lens I have ever seen. The scale is exactly the same for full frame lenses or APS-C only lenses. The scale is equal to the scale etched on a 35mm camera lens. The lens could have a depth of field scale that also matches a 35 mm camera lens of the same focal or zoom length. A 24mm wide angle full frame or a 24 mm APS-C lens mounted on an APS-c digital camera is no longer a 24 mm wide angle lens. The crop factor of 1.6 converts that lens to a 38.4 mm lens that has a slightly narrower depth of field. A 100mm portrait lens mounted on an APS-C camera becomes in effect a 160mm telephoto lens with an extremely narrow depth of field at just about any f-stop you use. Like you I don’t know why lens manufactures don’t have a lens scale specifically for APS-C cameras. They have chosen to leave 35mm numbers as the standard and we must learn to deal with it.
    That is the purpose of this posted lesson, to help you deal with it.
    If you reply with a question I will be more than happy to answer it.
    My next entry will deal with the various types of lenses, including zooms, fixed focal length and macro. Oh, don't worry, DOF will come up again!
    Gramps
    http://community.fmca.com/blog/62/entry-1390-every-lens-tells-a-story/
    Lesson Three
  12. -Gramps-
    Lenses:
    To quote Sony.com “Every Lens tells a story!”
    That is not true. Not completely anyway. A lens does no good unless it is attached to a camera, and the camera is only as good as the eye looking through it.
    Then again it is true if you remember that an eye is also a lens; a lens attached to a photographer.
    It is up to the photographer to tell the story.

    It can be a story about love, or friendship, history, the beauty of nature. It can be sensual.
    A lens is a tool to make that story visible.
    I want to remind you that if you are using an APS-C sensor camera the focal length of any compatible lens is based on the 35mm film and APS full frame equivalent times the crop factor of 1.6.
    http://community.fmca.com/blog/62/entry-1382-depth-of-field/
    Lesson two.

    There are three basic types of lenses:
    Fixed focal length; which includes wide, fisheye, normal or prime, and telephoto lenses.
    Zooms, which can also be wide or telephoto or a combination of both.
    Macros, which are also known as, close up lenses. These are also fixed focal length lenses. Any zoom that claims to be a macro lens, well it isn’t.
    Fixed focal lengths come in various lengths and f-stop configurations. First is the normal lens. The term “normal” refers to the angle of view that the human eye sees when looking straight ahead. This normal angle of view is pretty close to a full frame 50mm lens. When using an APC-C camera normal would be approximately 35mm. (35 times 1.6 equals 56). I mentioned 35mm because that is a very popular focal length. A 30mm lens is also available from some manufacturers.
    If the normal angle of view of the human eye (which is a lens) is equivalent to a full frame 50mm lens, than any lens with a greater angle of view is a wide lens and any lens with less is a long lens. Once again depending on the sensor, a normal or prime lens, as some call it, can be 28 to 50mm in length. A fast normal lens with a large aperture of f-2.8 or more makes a great lens for shooting pictures in low light. I own a 35mm f-1.8 lens.

    A 50mm lens when used with an APS-C camera makes a really good portrait lens. A 50mm prime lens can bring a person close enough for a head and shoulders shot without standing on top of them. If you set the f-stop at 3.5 or lower you will create a nice bokeh effect. Bokeh is the blurred image behind your subject. My 50mm f-2.8 Macro prime lens creates a very pleasant bokeh which I take advantage of for both portrait and close up nature shots.
    A wide angle lens pulls into the frame and focuses what a human sees with their peripheral vision. Wide angle lenses have a very wide depth of field, meaning that the foreground and the background will be in focus at just about any f-stop setting of the lens. Wide angle lenses have the ability to make an object or person that is close to you look farther away than it really is. Ultra wide angles, such as a 12mm fish eye lens, which can have a 180 degree angle of view, will also distort what you are looking at. This is the peep-hole effect and depending on the lens and sensor size, it can be very pronounced.

    I enjoy using a wide angle lens for landscape and scenic photography. I can capture all of a waterfall or a stream, a big wide sunset over the Grand Canyon. I am not a fan of fish eye lenses for a couple of reasons, one; I don’t like the extreme distortion, and two; a good fisheye lens cost as much as two good prime lenses. I also use my wide angle lens for taking group, architecture and interior shots. I happen to own a Sony 11-16mm wide angle zoom. It was expensive but well worth it.

    The primary function of a telephoto lens is the same as a telescope, to bring distant objects into closer view. The too technical definition of a telephoto lens is that the physical lens is shorter than the focal length and that the lens is constructed of groups of lenses called elements to bend light in certain ways to prevent fringing and distortion and make the image as sharp as possible.
    I don’t own a telephoto lens. I used to. A medium telephoto is between 85mm to 135mm in 35mm format (film again?). A super telephoto is over 300mm in 35mm format. The most common telephoto lenses manufactured by camera makers or lens makers are 85mm, 100mm, 135mm and 500mm lenses. Along with being fixed focal length, these lenses have something else in common, they are very expensive. Telephoto lenses are usually fast, they have a maximum aperture of 2.8. This gives them a physically large size and price tag to go along with it. The longer the lens is, literally, the bigger the price. It is my opinion that unless you need one for a very specific application, like shooting sports at night for example, your money is better spent for a good telephoto zoom lens.
    I mentioned that I used to own a telephoto lens. It was a really nice Minolta MD 135mm f-2.8 that I traded a zoom lens for. This was over twenty years ago when I had my own darkroom. At that time, I didn’t care for the quality of the shot from, or the physical size of, a zoom lens. I found that fixed focal length lenses produced a sharper image that was much better than a zoom set at the same focal length. Fixed focal length lenses were lighter, and faster. That is somewhat true today, but zoom lenses are much better constructed than they used to be, and they are more versatile than a fixed focal length lens. That is why I own four of them. In my bag is an 11-16mm wide angle zoom, a 55-200mm zoom, a 70-300mm zoom. Normally attached to my camera is the kit lens that came with it: an 18-55mm zoom lens. The last lens has an aperture of 3.5-5.6. Why two f-stops? That is because it is different at the minimum and maximum zoom setting. At 18mm the maximum aperture opening is 4.5 and at 55mm it is 5.6. All my other zooms have a maximum f-stop range of 4.5-5.6. This is rather typical of any manufacturer’s zoom with the same focal length.

    So far we have learned that fixed focal length lenses tend to be faster than a zoom so they are better for low light shooting, especially so if you want to hand hold the camera. That is why I own a 35mm f-1.8 “normal” lens. A 35mm APS-C lens is equivalent to a 50mm full frame lens. I also own a 50mm full frame f-2.8 lens which I use for portrait shots. My fixed focal length lenses are not as versatile as my zooms when composing because if I want a tighter shot, I have to move closer to the subject, and if I want a wider shot, I have to move back. Zoom lenses allow me to change my angle of view without moving as much. However, zoom lenses do not usually have as large an aperture as a fixed focal length lens, not without paying a huge amount of money. They are bigger in size so not easy to hold steady when shooting in low light. Using a tripod when shooting in low light with a zoom is a good idea.
    Last but not least is the macro lens. As I stated earlier, a zoom lens is not a photomacrography lens, even if the manufacture says it is. It simply does not have the 1:1 reproduction/magnification capability of a true macro lens. A zoom lens cannot produce an extreme close up shot resulting in a greater than life size image on the sensor. Of course, it is possible to produce a greater than life size image when viewing or printing an image.

    Sony has three macro lenses, a 30mm f-2.8, a full frame 50mm f-2.8 and a full frame 100mm f-2.8. The 50mm and 100mm lenses both have the advantage of allowing you to be farther away from your subject (we are talking inches) than the 30mm and still capture a 1:1 image. When shooting live subjects from farther away, even if it is only half a foot, is not a bad thing.... it keeps the butterfly from well, flying away. Both the 50mm and 100 mm lenses cost quite a bit more than a 30mm lens. I choose to purchase the 50mm lens (used) because I also wanted to use it as a medium telephoto lens. The 100mm, when the crop factor is applied, made it a 160mm lens which was a bit longer than I wanted.

    Remember that a Macro lens needs quite a bit of light to take an extreme close up picture. The depth of field will be very narrow and moving the camera a very small amount either closer to, or away from, the subject can dramatically change the DOF. A larger number f-stop setting helps to increase the DOF, but the shutter speed is going to be longer (slower) so mounting the camera on a good tripod is highly recommended.
    This was a very basic lesson about lenses, but my hope is I supplied enough information for you to make a wise decision about which lenses you want in your bag.
    Next lesson:
    Using the most important lenses you have: Your eyes!
    http://community.fmca.com/blog/62/entry-1392-the-rule-of-thirds-using-your-eyes/
    Gramps
  13. -Gramps-
    I suspect that some of you that have read my first three lessons are thinking that getting deeper into digital photography and purchasing a DSLR is just TOO much. It is too complicated and too expensive. Why bother when my cell phone or inexpensive point and shoot camera works just fine?
    Well, it all depends on what you want from the experience of shooting pictures. If I can use an analogy, you can take a vacation, stay in a hotel in a great location that you drove or flew to, or you can travel there in a coach and really get to know the place while still feeling at home. Okay, maybe that isn't a great analogy…but it is true.
    A DSLR and its ability to control the exposure and the array of lenses it offers opens up a whole new world for you to see and record. With the right equipment you can throw yourself into it. You can think big, wide, small.
    Imagine you are walking in the woods near a campground in the mountains. You worked hard to make the time and the money to get there and now you are experiencing the first day in a long time that you don’t have to think about work, taxes, and bills. Your camera is hanging around your neck, the birds are singing, the sun is making interesting shadows on the path in front of you. Just stop and look, turn around slowly…what do you see? Look down at the path, what is growing there? Stoop down; look closer! What do you see? Imagine looking at anything you see from a different angle, from below or behind, and if you can move there, look through the viewfinder, take a breath, and press the button! What do you see? What do you think of the image you just captured? How does it make you feel? Did you see the picture before you took it? No? You will. Do you think it is a good picture? Do you want to make it better? You will.
    Lesson Four,
    Using Your Eyes and The Rule of Thirds
    The rule of thirds is not really a rule. It is really more of a guideline. Look at any photograph. Now imagine a grid on top of it. This grid is like a tic-tac-toe board. It is composed of nine squares all the same size. When you compose a picture, you will give it greater impact if you place the subject at the intersection or lines of these squares.
    For example: you are shooting a sunset. You look through your viewfinder; the sun is dead in the middle of the screen. Don’t leave it there. Move the sun to the right third or the top third of the frame before you take the shot. You might move it to the bottom third to show more sky. In other words don’t just focus and shoot, let go and move the camera before you take the picture. Think about what you are looking at. Don’t always keep the horizon or a person’s eyes dead in the middle of the picture. Notice I used the word always, I didn’t say never.
    Look closely at the following pictures. Image the nine square grid on each one. What is the main point of interest of each one? What attracts your eye first? If the picture has a horizon, where is it?





    Like many rules, the Rule of Thirds is made to be broken, but I suggest that it is better to really know a rule before you decide to not use it.
    The rule of thirds was first written down over two hundred years ago by artist John Thomas Smith, who thought the rule should be applied to the balance of light and dark in a picture more than content. It proved to be a very hard rule to follow for painters, but photographers learned to use it to improve composition. They, we, use it to place emphasis on light, angles of perception, and strong points of interest.
    This rule makes a picture easier to look at because it takes advantage of how people view images. It takes advantage of natural lines. Those lines are there. A sunset has lines; a flower garden has them, as does a person or group of people. Using this guideline helps to balance the picture, which makes the whole frame help tell your story.
    Can you see in the pictures below how the RoT was used to make the photographer (me) think outside the frame and create a better picture?


    The change in perspective does not have to be as dramatic to still make an impact.

    Just a simple zoom out and a bit of a pan to the right, move the "subject" to the left third:

    The rule of thirds doesn't have to be obeyed or used at the time you take the shot. You can also use it later by editing the picture. Notice the dramatic change in these two pictures.


    The Rule of Thirds is a guideline to help you think and see sideways, to get you to see "outside the box." The ROT helps you with your composition to change your perspective, and to use the lines that naturally occur in the shot. However, we have only scratched the surface, both with this lesson and the previous three.
    Next lesson ...Composition! Using, Stretching and Breaking both Depth of Field and the Rule of Thirds.
    http://community.fmca.com/blog/62/entry-1396-compose-the-picture/
    Gramps
  14. -Gramps-

    Compose the Picture!

    By -Gramps-,

    I think photography is in my DNA. One of the things that fostered my interest in becoming a shooter is the fact that my Dad was one for many years. He shot thousands of pictures of places he traveled to while serving in the U.S. Navy, both at sea and shore duty. His pictures also included travels at home, to the mountains of North Carolina and Virginia as well a trip to Canada in 1967. Dad’s camera was always recording images of birthday parties, holidays, and trips to the beach.
    Now my daughter is learning as much as she can about digital photography. My brother shoots, as does Charity his daughter. Charity happens to be a really good photographer of children, in my opinion.
    I think that when you go to a studio and have a portrait of yourself or your family taken, you have a record of what you looked like at that time.
    When you capture a picture yourself, you create a record of what your life was like at the time you took it. You also create a record about what you are like as a person.
    A photograph says as much or more about the photographer as a painting says about the artist who puts brush to canvas. Just as a painter leaves his work behind, so does the photographer.
    Just something to think about.
    Lesson Five, Compose the Picture!
    This lesson will expand using depth of depth and the rule of thirds. We will also learn how to use framing and take advantage of diagonal and converging lines.
    First though, let us shake things up a bit and talk about breaking the rules.
    I will, on occasion, break the rule of thirds by the way I use lines.
    I talked earlier about how the rule of thirds adds interest to a picture by using points of interest that can have natural lines. Lines can also be man made. Multiple lines that converge together or come close to one another can be a great way to lead the eye of the viewer into a shot. These lines can cross the dead center of the frame, which technically breaks the rule.
    Look at the following picture. What line or lines of the picture does your eye automatically go too? Does the location of that element break the Rule of Thirds?

    The placement of the lines of the railroad track breaks the rule but takes advantage of it at the same time. What makes that possible?
    Is the rule of thirds still used in this picture as well as being broken?


    The position of the butterfly blatantly breaks the rule, however I used a shallow Depth of Field to create a final effect which I think makes the picture better than if I had kept the rule.

    Whether you adhere to the rule or not is determined by the total picture and how you frame it. Framing is composed of two parts. First is the extreme edge of the picture itself ...where it ends. Second is also what is in the picture along any edge. You see a picture before you take it and you think it will make a good image to capture, but have you really looked at it from the best vantage point? Can something be added to "frame it" and make it more than just a good shot.
    I believe you will see what I mean with the following two pictures. The first one is a good picture. It incorporates the rule of thirds. Notice the position of the four lines in the picture, the rock in the foreground, the fence line, the path in the distance, and the mountain ridge. Notice, too, the little bit of tree on the left side of the picture.

    In this next shot I kept the same four lines but I moved my position, which added an object to frame the original image, and the whole picture changes.


    I told you that back in my film days, making a really good picture took two exposures. One in the camera and one in the darkroom. Well I still have the opportunity to make that "second shot."
    I can do that using my computer and a good photo editing program. I will show you what I mean.
    This picture was originally supposed to be a shot of the geese. I was just learning to use the camera at a William and Mary cross country event, and while I was playing with the focus I saw the Georgetown girls track team come over the hill. This is the final product.


    This is the original shot before I edited it.

    The original image placed the girls almost dead center of the frame. The edited picture made better use of the rule of thirds, which creates a more dynamic picture even with the track team out of focus. This also exhibits once again how a shallow depth of field contributes to the picture.
    Knowing how to use lines, the rule of thirds, depth of field both wide and shallow and looking at the framing of your shot is going to help you create a good, and sometimes great, shot. You never know when you might need to use knowledge of all the above to create one special picture.


    Did I use convergent lines? Did I use the rule of thirds to position my subject? How does the depth of field of my wide angle zoom contribute to this shot?
    Not bad! Right?
    Next time we will learn how to use the brains behind the camera to help us capture that still moment in time.
    http://community.fmca.com/blog/62/entry-1400-when-things-are-still/
    Gramps
  15. -Gramps-

    The Black Ribbon

    By -Gramps-,

    Part 1 "That Day"
    Recently Diane and I were given two large gifts. These gifts allowed us to escape from work, from our day to day routines, to recover from disappointment and hurt, to be refreshed. These gifts allowed us to spend time with many friends, including our closest ones, to learn new things, and to have a whole lot of fun in the process.
    These two gifts were tied together by time, distance, and a long black ribbon.
    Sometimes a black ribbon is a sign of mourning.
    On December thirty first of this last year, Diane and I signed an agreement to provide an exclusive option to sell my business. We set a cash price for the purchase and a date for that option to be exercised.
    We agreed that I would spend the next six months training the buyer’s personnel to look after my customers and their equipment.
    So for the next six months we took very few trips in our coach. We had a couple of weekend campouts with our FMCA chapter and in May we took a weeklong trip to the Blue Ridge for a Parker Family Reunion. By this time all looked well for me to retire and the new company to take over. Diane and I promised to travel to Florida to see our daughter and to pick up the grand boys for a few days so she and her husband could take a cruise together. We also made other travel plans as well.
    I guess you could say that with only a couple of weeks to go before the closing that we could now start to count our chickens….we could look forward to retiring after twenty three years of being self-employed.
    We planned to sell the house and live full time in our coach. We started downsizing, making plans to sell some things, and give lots of things away.
    The day before the closing, actually about eleven hours before, the other company killed the deal. They did not want to spend the cash, they would only purchase if I loaned them the money at terms totally acceptable to them.
    I refused to do that. I had no other choice. I could not loan them my financial future.
    Just like that our dream for retirement vanished.
    Diane said it felt like she was a bride left standing at the altar.
    That analogy seemed to sum it up pretty well.
    We mourned for the life that we thought was about to start.
    I was not devastated, not completely anyway, because being the pessimist that I am, I told myself right from the beginning that something could happen that might stop this deal and I should have a backup plan. I needed a way to keep going even though I was tired and worn out from the long term responsibility of running my own business.
    The first thing I did after the air came out of the balloon, was to contact my customers and inform them I was not retiring, which they had no problem with. One of the ladies I work with when hearing the news said "Thank God! I was praying you wouldn't leave us."
    I suppose I could have responded with "well, at least God answered someone's prayer." But I didn't.
    Actually contacting my customers was the second thing I did.
    The first was I prayed to God to give me the wisdom and the courage to keep going for as long as I needed to.
    God answered two prayers.
    I wisely rebuilt my company website. I also created a company Facebook, Pinterest and Google Plus Page. I updated my oldest field test and office equipment. I attended out of town training classes in order to be certified to sell and service Vertical's new telephone equipment. I did things that the other company should have done in order to become successful at their new venture.
    In essence I sold my company to myself.
    I rebooted and it worked. I received plenty of work. I did not take a day off, except for a couple of Sundays, for the next two months.
    Just after Labor Day, things began to slow down. That was a good thing because that gave Diane and I time to plan to take the one trip that we refused to cancel after “that day”, as she and I refer to it, happened.
    We were not going to miss the GEAR rally in Asheville, North Carolina. We had not attended a GEAR rally in three or four years. This one looked so good that six months earlier we had paid for the trip. We planned on arriving early as volunteers and extending our visit to Asheville by a few days simply because we love the area so much.
    The trip to Asheville became present number one.
    On a sunny, pretty Friday in late September, Diane and I loaded up the coach for what we hoped would be a quiet two week trip to the gentle Blue Ridge Mountains. It was one of those unseasonably warm days that can fool you into thinking short sleeves is all you need, but we knew better so we carried clothes out to the coach that covered three seasons. I find that golfing shirts work well for all occasions.
    We left the next morning around ten thirty with the intent to drive to a point mid-way between Portsmouth and Asheville. Our target was the appropriately named Mid-Way campground and RV Park located just off I-40 near Statesville, NC. We planned to stay there for two nights and do absolutely nothing for the only full day we were there.
    Our trip down was uneventful other than the fact that I could not get our generator to start when parked for lunch. Diane wanted to use the microwave and I flooded the genny when I held the starter down for too long. Diane settled for a cold tuna fish sandwich instead of the hot chicken patty she had hoped to eat.
    We arrived at Mid-Way just after three. The office parked us parallel between a hill and a, what you could call a small lake or large duck pond. There was a fountain in the middle to keep the water moving and a lot of baby ducks were floating along like one of those carnival duck games. It was very peaceful and quiet. The phone never rang once the whole time we were on the road, well if it did it was family calling, not customers.
    It was easy to park the coach on our spot. It was not so easy to level it. I used about twenty of my many Lynx blocks under the wheels and the jacks to get it level, but in the end I prevailed.
    I tested the generator and it started without a hitch. That was a relief.

    Saturday I washed the coach roof after climbing up there to see if a limb that fell off the oak tree we were parked under had done any damage. It had not, but my new slide out toppers were filthy from pine needles and road dirt. We were not supposed to use a large amount of water but I could not let it go, so I carried a few five gallon buckets of water, one at a time of course, to the roof to wash it.
    Just as I was about to finish, Diane said “how are you going to rinse all the soap off?”
    Just then it started to rain.
    “I think God is taking care of that for me!” was my response.
    Sunday morning I climbed up on the roof again to remove the many acorns that were laying on the toppers. I didn’t want them jamming up the works when I retracted the slide outs back in. We soon pulled out and had some excitement when making a very tight turn uphill between trees on the left and a drainage ditch on the right. It can be fun taking a forty foot coach around a thirty foot curve.
    Diane kept saying I was getting too close to the edge and I told her hang on because I had to get the tailpipe past a tree, which I did successfully.
    In just a few minutes we were back on I-40 heading west. It was only a couple of hours later that the mountains started getting larger and larger in the front window. We stopped for gas and filled the tank. We added the weight of a full gas tank to the weight of a full water tank. The hardest climb was still ahead of us…so much for getting good gas mileage. I was confident that our UFO coach would make it up the mountain regardless of all our liquid cargo.
    About noon we arrived at the Western North Carolina Agricultural Center. Now this is the only time when things went a bit array. We took the wrong turn at a fork in the road so to speak. We turned left when we should have gone straight. We ended up on a very twisty one and a half lane road with no place to make a u turn. Diane is on the phone with Andy our chapter president, who was already at the venue, and he is telling us to turn around, Diane is relaying this message and I am saying, none too kindly, that I cannot do it…..yet. My fear was that I might not be able to do it at all. I hate being lost, especially when driving the coach. I wasn't actually lost but you know what I mean.
    We finally came out of the woods to a major intersection and I found a place to reverse our route. We made it to gate seven and with a little guidance from Andy and a couple of other chapter members we parked our coach. I needed to use quite a few Lynx blocks again but I had no trouble with that considering the rehearsal I had a couple of days earlier.
    Our good friends Gary and Janis, who should have arrived after us, were already parked due to the fact that Gary did not make the same wrong turn that I did. I was not the only one who made that mistake however.
    The next day there were volunteers directing traffic. Good thing too.
    It was absolutely beautiful in Asheville. Being parked on a large parking lot was not bad at all. We had full hookups which included fifty amp service. Gary and I shared a sewer connection but that presented no problem at all. The only question was what to do with all the water I was hauling and no longer needed. I figured at some point during the coming week I would just use the water pump and dump it down the sewer.
    That first afternoon we registered our coach, one of some four hundred that would attend the rally, plus vendors, and we made some plans for later that day.
    Gary, Janis, Diane and our good friend Jerry, decided to make, what for us is a pilgrimage, to the Moose Café. This great eatery is located next to the Asheville farmer’s market just around the corner from the Biltmore Estate. We left around four thirty for what should have been a half hour drive. Due to an accident, which was flashing on my Verizon GPS, it took an hour and a half. I told our three companions, who had never eaten at the Moose Café that it was worth the longer drive. It was.
    Most of us had the smoked pork chops, which came with the largest buttermilk biscuits you have ever seen. They have great country side dishes, all freshly made from ingredients that come from the farmer’s market next door. The meal was really good. I finished mine off with fresh blackberry cobbler with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top of that warm sticky berry stuff.

    We covered a lot of subjects during dinner. We talked about the upcoming rally, the vendors and seminars we hoped to see and what we would do during our down time. We also talked about our non- retirement and I told them more details about what happened back in July.
    Most of our friends and family already knew about it falling apart and many gave us their initial response of “It must be for the best”, or “It will work out for good”, or “it just isn't the right time.”
    All of those responses are absolutely true, but I didn't always want to hear any of them. It just seemed like too simple a thing to say.
    Our friend Jerry lost his wife almost the same day we lost our dream and that really put things into perspective for me. I watched him stay upbeat and cheerful with his friends even though he had lost Charlotte, his best friend in life. I figured that going into some dark place just because I couldn't retire and travel “right now” really wasn't the thing to do.
    I still had a good life to live with my wife and best friend so I best get on living it.
    We decided to do just that and while In Asheville we were going to have some fun.
    Diane told everyone we planned on taking a white water trip while there. Gary and Janis had never done that before. Jerry had done it quite a few times. We asked ourselves, why not book a trip for the very next morning?
    We found some flyers in the information stand in front of the café and later that night, after a stop at Wal-Mart for tooth paste and other things I needed, I hopped online and started looking to book five people for a trip down the French Broad River early in the morning.
    I didn't have much luck. The season was over for most of the rafting companies and some sites would not take a booking our size. I would have to wait until morning and make some calls.
    The next morning at eight ten am, I contacted the Blue Heron Rafting Company. I asked them if they could squeeze in five people and they say sure, if we could be there around nine fifteen. Wow, that did not give us a lot of time to make our way forty-five miles the other side of the Blue Ridge Parkway, but we said we would get there. They said they would wait for us as long as they could.
    We quickly packed changes of clothes, water, snacks and people in Gary’s car and took off like a bat out of you know where.
  16. -Gramps-
    The Black Ribbon part 2
    The French Broad River is a very beautiful, naturally flowing river, meaning that it is not dam controlled by the TVA like so many others are in western North Carolina. It flows north easterly through the mountains which includes Asheville and there it connects with the Swannanoa River. From there it continues through the county seat of Marshall, our destination. Eventually the French Broad flows into the Holston River in Tennessee and on into the Tennessee River near Knoxville. It is called the French Broad because it was one of two broad rivers in the area and it was the one that flowed through land claimed over two centuries ago by France. The other river was called the English Broad River, which later became known simply as “The Broad River”. The Cherokee had their own names for the river depending on what area it was in.
    The French Broad River is 213 miles long. We would be getting a very close view of about six of those miles.
    The Blue Heron Whitewater center is located about twenty-two miles from downtown Asheville, and about forty five miles from the Agricultural Center. The Ag center is right across the street so to speak from the Asheville Airport. We crossed the river three times on our way to Marshall. I saw it as a preview of what was to come. Being that it was not Diane’s and my first trip down the river, we had some idea of what to expect.
    I didn’t expect us to get fogged in on our way there, but it almost happened. It was pretty thick in places along I-26 just about where we passed under that great black ribbon of road known as the Blue Ridge Parkway.
    I must have called the Blue Heron office three or four times along the way to make sure we knew where we were going and to assure them we would be there ASAP. Sandy, who would become our guide, and Wags told us not to hurry, stay safe, they would wait, and if we drove past Grandma’s General Store we had gone too far and to turn around.
    We didn’t go too far. We made it just in time for the start of training for our half day trip down the river with lunch included.
    There was a couple from London along with one other rafter who would be in Wag’s large raft. Diane, Gary and Janis were assigned to Sandy’s raft. Jerry and I choose to go it alone in a Ducky. A Ducky is an inflatable one person Kayak with a double paddle. They are a bit more challenging and a heck of a lot of fun.
    We received some very precise training instructions both from Wags live and Wags on video. Basically the instructions were what to do if you fell out of the raft or off your duck, which could happen whether you wanted it to or not, and believe me, you don’t want it happen.
    We were issued spray jackets to keep us warm, helmets to keep our brains in place, and paddles that we were instructed not to lose.
    We boarded a used to be school bus, rafts and ducks lashed on top, for the trip up the mountain to the launch point.
    Once there we and our rafts were off loaded and we carried them down to the river.
    Sandy gave Jerry and myself a bit more instructions on how to paddle a duck. She also explained how to get off a rock if you become a pinned duck.
    If you don’t like getting wet, don’t white water in a duck. Like rafts they are self-bailing, water that comes in goes out, but the opposite is true and so you find yourself basically sitting in a rubber bowl of water. It wasn't all that bad even at fifty four degree water and just about the same air temperature.
    After about twenty minutes of paddling hard in order to miss a lot of rocks, one starts to warm up.
    The trip was a blast. Time flew really fast, lots of laughs and screams when the river threw cold stuff on everybody.
    It wasn't long at all before we arrived at a large rock on the left bank reserved for dare devils. If you were brave enough to take a jump you were invited to do so. Some did, including the couple from London and Gary. I declined, the duck provided plenty of excitement and water for me.
    We stopped for a good lunch of ham sandwiches, chips, pickles, cookies and soft drinks.Lunch provided a great place and time to take group photos.
    After lunch we had about another half hours trip down river. Jerry and Gary switched positions, which put Gary in the duck. He took to it…well, like a duck to water.
    This leg of our six hour trip was really short and over much too quick. We reached our take out spot.
    We washed the sand off the ducks and rafts and hauled them up to our bus. Once they were loaded we took off our vests and helmets, picked a seat and the bus took us back up the mountain to the center.
    Once there we changed, looked at our photos, which Jerry purchased for us, Janis, Gary and I bought a t-shirt, we loaded up and drove home with great big smiles on our faces.
    We all agreed that this Tuesday had been a great big blast!
    What do we do tomorrow and the day after?
    Take a Hike? Visit the farmer’s market? Take the Asheville Trolley Tour?
    How about all the above !
  17. -Gramps-
    Another lesson about my passion...Digital Photography. Its been awhile but take a look you might see something you like, or something that makes you just a bit hungry!
    http://www.myrandomviews.com/blog/2015/5/7/the-grocery-store-a-visual-exercise
     
     
  22. -Gramps-

    Tips and Hints

    By -Gramps-,

    Over the last ten years, Diane and I have learned, discovered, or otherwise stumbled upon a few things that have helped us during our adventures on the road.
    http://www.myrandomviews.com/blog/tipsandhints
  23. -Gramps-
    Today I would liked to have posted a blog about how much fun it has been since Diane and I retired. I wanted to tell you about our adventures in the coach, describe all the new sites we have seen etc..
    http://www.myrandomviews.com/blog/2015/7/10/the-human-whisperer
  25. -Gramps-
    I love puns and one liners. I love blurting them out...regardless of those in hearing range around me want to hear them or not.
    http://www.myrandomviews.com/blog/punsandoneliners
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