relationshipdoc

Here is some news you can use. I just read a study from Sweden that showed that people who are depressed are significantly more likely to have a stroke. Seems that being depressed can literally kill you. Fortunately, we know that having an emotionally significant relationship and being physically active are powerful protectors against depression and against heart disease - and if this study is correct, against stroke, too. As those of you who read this blog know, I am investigating what it is that enables those of us who RV have better (read "emotionally significant") relationships. If you would be willing to participate in this study, please contact me. Whether you want to participate or not, now is a good time to get with your spouse or significant other (gotta cover all the bases in this day and age) and do a relationship checkup. Do we do physical activity? Check. Do we enjoy being with each other? Check Check. Good. You may have just taken a big step to making sure you don't become one of the many Americans are suffer from stroke each year.

Well, we finally received that long awaited call. The local Cat dealer got the starter for our generator, and our SeeYa was ready for duty again. We could hardly wait to get back on the road. It was interesting. The very first trip we did not go far from home, and we hardly ventured out of the motor home the entire weekend, except to take our daily 4-5 mile walk, plus a bike ride or two. Other than that, we both were busy nesting. Making our baby "ours" again. Nesting is something that usually gets associated with women, but I found I needed to nest as much as Donna did. We were in this thing together. I am still looking for many other RVers to tell their stories of what makes their marriage work while RVing. What I have learned so far is, most of us are the same. Both partners are, well, partners. The motor home is theirs. Maybe, just maybe that is one of the things that makes RV-ing different from living in a "bricks and sticks" house. That sense that "we are in this thing together" in more ways than one. I still have lots to learn about what keeps relationships good while RV-ing, but already I am convinced that, in one way or another, we all jointly "nest" in our RV. And have fun doing it.

Some years ago, when I was still in the active duty Air Force, I was an avid runner. I found out just how avid when I was hit unexpectedly by an illness which kept me from even walking much, much less running, for several weeks. I recovered from the illness and returned to running but I never forgot what it felt like to go through that withdrawal. Lately my wife and I have been going through a similar withdrawal. Our beloved motorhome has been in the shop for several weeks because the starter on the generator went out and the local Cat dealer doesn't seem to be able to find one. This isn't about the dealer. It's about us. We have been been edgy lately. It's easier to fly off the handle. We're going through withdrawal. Since we recognize that, we have been taking extra steps to be nice to each other, to say kind words to each other, and to be very understanding of each other. It isn't easy. Going through withdrawal never is. But we keep hoping for that phone call which will tell us the part has finally arrived, and we can have out baby back and we can get our "fix" of motorhoming again. In other words, we keep practicing the skills we know will help us, or anyone, through any sort of high stress time: accentuating the strengths in the relationship, actively trying to catch each other "doing something right," and keeping the focus on the future. This is one addiction that we have no intention of kicking. But now, we'll do the best we can, loving on our "fur kids" and letting them help us get through this withdrawal together. That's what a relationship is all about.

Welcome to "Wayne's World." As the blog description says, this is all about relationships and RVs, and what makes that combination so special. Let me introduce myself first of all. I have always been fascinated with relationships, all kinds of relationships. The relationships of the earth to the moon, stars, and other planets. The relationships of chemical elements to each other. The wondrous relationships of the various components of the human body. And I could go on, but for the last 37 years, I have been most interested marriage and family relationships. That's what I do for a living. I am an active marriage and family therapist, and I currently teach marriage and family therapy to master's and doctoral students. I can't get enough of this stuff. You ought to know that, in contrast to the other mental health disciplines, marriage and family therapy is based in a health model, which means we're interested in what is right with people, not what is wrong. That's me all over. I'm interested in what is right. Right now, I am researching an article that I hope to publish in FMCA on relationships. Specifically, what makes the couple relationship stronger for couples who go RV-ing than it is for couples who do not RV? My results are very preliminary right now, but I can say that I'm learning a lot. Should be a fun article when it's ready to publish. I work full time, so I don't get out as often as I like, but if you happen to see Donna and me out in our 2004 Alfa SeeYa, come by and say howdy. And if you'd like to participate in this study, just let me know. I'd love to talk with you. Wayne

Don't get me wrong. Donna and I love our kids, all 3 of them. They're all grown and married, and we're exceptionally proud of all of them. We always have been. But we have always taught them that we believed job #1 for a parent is to prepare kids to become responsible adults, so we were from their youngest days preparing them to leave the nest. When the last one left, we were ready. I often said, "The empty nest syndrome is just a permanent smile on your face." Maybe we were just fooling ourselves. One of the reasons we started RVing was we wanted to be able to take our dog (a 7 lb poodle named Jean Claude - as in Jean Claude Van Dam) with us. And of course, if we were going to take the dog, we had to take at least one of our cats. Yes, we live with a dog and 4 cats, so when we go RVing, we take the dog and 2 of the cats (the other two don't travel well, so for their benefit as well as our sanity, we leave them at home). Lately, we have been having some renovation work done on our SeeYa, and because of that, we have been been able to take our "fur kids" with us. These trips have been miserable. We miss our "fur kids." I think there is something about a good relationship that demands it be shared. Oh, we maintain good contact with our 3 human kids and their families, but there is something, I believe, about a good relationship that wants to be shared with touch, with contact. Our "fur kids" receive all that overflowing love, and they return that love in return. It's a win-win situation. I think that may be one reason why so many of us travel with our "fur kids." I won't say "pets," because I know our dog and cats are more than "pets." They are part of the family. And from what I have seen, many of you feel the same way about your traveling companions. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that's just one more evidence that a good relationship is just too good to keep all to yourself. Wayne